The one where we visited a school
I wasn't going to write anything about this, but as the day has gone on I realised it might be useful both for us to look back on our thoughts, and for others to know that they are not the only people going through these kinds of decisions.
We have three daughters. While our eldest and middle daughters are doing fine in mainstream state education, our youngest has always found education more difficult. She is perhaps two years behind the majority of her friends in terms of academic ability, and despite moving heaven and earth to help her (she has a statement, receives tens of hours of specialist assistance, and hours of our own efforts each week), it's becoming increasingly obvious that her next move – to a state comprehensive school in September 2016 – may do more harm than good. She will move from a protective, small, nurturing environment to a much bigger, less directed one. She will be in the bottom stream across the board, and her confidence will plummet.
This morning we took the morning off to visit a specialist girls school a few miles away. A school designed from the ground up for dealing with children that need a little help. We had almost feared this visit – we feared we would love the school, and how we might introduce the idea to our daughter – the little girl who loves her friends, and who's future was mapped out – to follow her sisters path for the next eight or so years.
We did love the school. They will provide facilities that a state school can only dream of. They will give her the chance that she would otherwise not have. Their teacher to pupil ratio is less than a third of a typical school. Everything is smaller, more focussed, and more individual. They still follow the national curriculum, so the children still leave with the same qualifications as those leaving state schools, but their path towards attaining them is very, very different. There is no pressure to hit targets at particular ages – if the children need an extra year or two before sitting the exams a normal school would hit at 16, so be it. Not a problem.
So yeah... we started the day with a head full of reasons why we wanted her to follow her sisters through school – so she would know her future, and be with the friends she has known since her earliest school days – and we ended the day with an almost complete reversal.
This evening the children pretty much figured out where we had been. Our middle daughter noticed that we had sticky badges on our coats just like the deputy head of her school had (she accompanied us on the school visit too). Their inquisition was relentless, so we gave up being evasive.
Our youngest was completely unaffected by the thought of going to a different school than her sisters. Our middle daughter however seemed horrified. We didn't see thatcoming.