The one where winning made me a sore loser?
We have had an XBox 360 at home for the last year or so, with an online account so we can access movies and so on. During that time I've also played games, but never online. I used to years ago, but not since the 360.
So late last night I had a quick go on the F1 game. I only got to play it for a few minutes here and there because it drives my better half round the twist. I'm not sure what made me do it, but I ended up clicking on the online options – and suddenly found myself on the grid with ten or twelve other people, from all over the world.
It was a learning experience.
When you play against the computer, the computer pretty much abides by the rules – the computer controlled cars avoid hitting you if at all possible, and will drive in a sensible manner. Also, when you play on your own, the physics model appears to be far more realistic; playing online the cars suddenly had huge amounts of grip, and could get away with mounting the kerbs, or putting wheels on the grass on corner entry (both of which would normally spell disaster). Within a couple of laps you end up forming entirely new lines – new braking points, and new routes through difficult sections of track.
In my first race I ended up fifth – firmly midfield. Then the accidents started happening – always to me – and I always ended up getting penalised. It took me the longest time to realise how clever the other players were being – using the collision detection to their advantage; causing accidents with others in just such a way that they escaped unpenalised – which is exactly what happened in my final race.
We were in China, and following a first lap where I arrived late at the first corner to avoid the inevitable crash, I found myself third – with a penalty for doing nothing (go figure). After catching the guy in front of me over the course of the lap, I pressured him into a huge mistake, and was second. Three seconds down the road, the leader (who had the highest rating you can seemingly attain) was busy trying to build a gap over everybody... until I came along.
Within a lap his lead was down to a second. On the final lap of the three lap race, I challenged him again and again – fairly, and cleanly. No contact at all. Finally at the last corner he outbraked himself, and I passed him for the win.
While going back to race control, a message appeared in my XBox “in-box” – the first message I have ever received.
“You're one sore fcking loser, shthead”
So this guy – who sits and plays games online all day, and racks up enormous amounts of points in Microsoft's imaginary kudos pyramid, gets beaten fair and square by somebody playing online for the first time, and calls them a loser. My fastest lap was nearly 2 seconds faster than his.
And that's why I won't be playing online any more. I really can't be bothered with all the idiots.