I opened the word processor at 8:35 this morning, with every intention of writing a blog post before work started. One thing after another cropped up throughout the day to make sure no writing of any sort happened. Before I knew it, I was up to my ears in source code, meetings, and an endless stream of email.
I really need to take a step back. To slow down.
A good friend messaged me yesterday – that had not heard anything from me for some months – asking if we were still good – if they had done something wrong. I felt awful. While I'm busy tinkering with this and that, I often become consumed with whatever I'm doing, and submerge myself into it – often at the exclusion of anything and everything else. You must have noticed the blog posts becoming less frequent, right? Same reason.
Like I said – I need to take a step back. I need to reach out to those I know, and those I care about – and reassure them that they're not forgotten – that we're good – that I just got... distracted. For months.
An old work colleague emailed me yesterday, and sent some scanned photos of a party that happened many years ago – of myself and the girl I used to share an office with. I had forgotten how striking she was. It's funny – when you know somebody well, you stop seeing them as others do – you see straight past how pretty they might be, and see the person that makes you smile – the person that's shared worries with you – that you've partnered with on so many escapades.
There is a point to this interlude, honest.
The girl in the photos used to roll her eyes at my submergent behaviour (is that a real word?) – and often commented that I disappeared in plain sight when something interested me. I could shut off everybody in a noisy room and focus on whatever I was doing – it drove some people nuts. I always likened it to having music on in the background – when you're concentrating you just kind of tune it out. I tune the world out.
Perhaps I need to start tuning the world back in from time to time.