Turning Thirteen
Our eldest daughter becomes a teenager this weekand celebrated her birthday a few days early by being taken shopping with her friends, and having a sleepover. I say “being taken shopping” very loosely; we gave her money, and let the group of them loose in a shopping mall with no other rules than to meet us for dinner later.
Apart from nearly having a falling down moment when we couldn't find them (multiple calls to mobiles were ignoredand words were had afterwards), the day went really well.
There was this moment in the restaurant at the end of the day that will stay with me for quite some time. We had organised a table for the girls at the far side of the restaurantwhile they could see us, we were far enough away that they didn't have to worry about being watched. Throughout dinner we heard explosions of laughter, and raised voices as high spirits ruled the evening. I realised, gazing quietly at them across the other diners, that this was a first baby step towards letting go.
She was having her own funenjoying her own lifewith her own friendsindependently of us. At the same time as I felt I was missing something, I knew that that we are doing the right thinggiving her perceived freedoms, albeit in a controlled, careful way.
On the short journey home, I warned our younger children again, and again, that they should leave the older children alonethat this was not their party, and that their turn would come. In the first ten minutes I had to pull our 9 year old out of the room seven times.
For the older girls, the rest of the evening was all about watching trashy movies, eating rubbish food, painting each other's nails horrendous colours, and applying all manner of beautifying garbage they had hoarded in preparation for the night ahead.
We shut the door on them at midnight, and kind of wished the room was soundproofed.
Of course our house runs on it's own railsto it's own schedule. I arrived downstairs at 8 this morning to prepare for Rugby, and looked in on the aftermath. Teen and pre-teen girls, huddled sleepily in a duvet filled room, watching early morning cartoons