Knowledge runs down.

I haven’t read Kafka’s The Trial, but Merrifield is dissecting it in “Chapter 2: A Question of Faith.”

He hypothesizes Kafka’s warning: “He doesn’t want us to accept our guilt at the behest of the bureaucratic ideology” (p. 29).

Ohhhhh, what a lesson for all of us plagued my internalized misogyny, misogynoir, and other oppressive colonialist projects.

In the margins, I jot, “would be a funny essay to connect The Trial and themes of internalized self-hatred.”

The ways we are convinced to monitor ourselves, plead guilty without fault, etc. An overlay with a “fuck the prison industrial complex” theme, perhaps.

I always think of these crossovers, but how do you actually write that essay? I have role models: Jia Tolentino, Rebecca Solnit, etc. But how do you start piecing together weird evidence into a theme and a narrative and a reasonable flow of thought?

A skill to be researched, learned, and practiced, me thinks.

Love and wow can I write when I’m avoiding grading,
Jordie

Post script/Edit: Framed as a review of Merrifield’s book, but extending his argumentation in Chapter 2 to the peculiar world of the Quantified Self and bullet journaling, food tracking as ED bureaucracy and self-bureaucracy to meet internalized misogyny “requirements.” I think his ideas would apply in an interesting way here. Everyone in the field is an amateur scientist and a frequent advice (that is actually helpful!) from CBT (I think) (not Cock and Ball Torture – Cognitive Behavioral Therapy) is to “experiment” and try new ways of thinking without the pressure of immediate success and without completely abandoning older, more comfortable ways of thinking. I also have personal experience with the benefits and labors and harms of this genre.

TBH I could also look at how his arguments and references apply in the EA space. I have a reasonable level of knowledge and personal experience in these areas to have a good jumping off point for research and essay formation. I know what terms to search for and basic resources to reference.

I also like that I’ve never written a book review before and it would be fun to take an amateur stab at it in the spirit of the anti-professionalism book!