Prisms and identity
Photo credit: Rafael Garcin
Moves, especially across the country, can make it a ripe time for starting over. In my case, after moving from Brooklyn to San Francisco at the end of 2021, I’ve been leaning into an uncovering and revealing that I didn't totally expect.
I recently talked with my friend Marc about how we shape our self and I texted him this after mulling over our conversation:
I think my aspirations are to be a kind, queer, bro, pothead, writer, spiritual, eco-loving baker.
It's all of these things I want to embody and live into. For much of my life, I've lived into one or two things. I'm the “spiritual” or “thoughtful” one. Or I'm the “quiet” and “low-key” one.
Too often, I've constricted my self to these personas, even when other selves within me wanted to step forward.
Prisms
Chatting with my therapist, we stumbled upon this visual of a prism. Similar to how light passes through a prism, exploding into a spectrum of colors, we, too, have within us a kaleidoscope of identities.
Like the way a prism disperses light into a vibrant spectrum, our multifaceted selves manifest in a rainbow of colors. Each color represents a distinct identity, blending together to form the rich tapestry of who we are.
I was instantly hooked on this idea. What selves have been bubbling below the surface? Which selves have I said no to when they wanted to step forward? Too often the no comes from an unconscious place. Deep-seated morality that I've never taken the time to question or rethink.
Beyond boundaries
Society, and the culture we're raised in, often squeezes us to conform to a single, static identity. This is your role. Don't swerve one way or another. Don't venture outside of these boundaries, for fear of being shunned or shamed.
The reality is that embracing authenticity means granting ourselves permission to explore, express, and let loose the full spectrum of our identities. Color outside the lines. Try on different aspects of our selves, like we would with the clothes we wear.
By stepping outside the lines, we can celebrate the diversity within us. It’s like granting a wish to each of our selves. The mere thought of that gets me choked up.
Okay, now it’s your turn, self. It’s okay, you can come out to play.
What beautiful permission to give to the selves who have been eager to come into view. ▪️