JustAGuyinHK

I got the message last week from my brother. My 98-year-old grandmother fell and re-injured her pelvis. When they looked at it, she has a fracture. She would need to be on some mild painkillers and needs rest. She lives alone, in her own house, with no support. My mother drove the two hours north to care for her mother.

Living overseas is a fantastic experience, and I have been lucky to have had the chance for the past twenty years. The only drawback is when these things happen. I can’t help, run over, or lend a hand. All I can do is be a voice on the phone and try to offer some solutions and some understanding. It is tough, which is one of the costs of living so far away from family.

It is hard to hear the frustration in my mom’s voice as she tries to navigate the healthcare system back in Canada. There is this urge to make suggestions – you should, you could, you must…. It gives me the feeling of doing something or helping, even though it isn’t. These suggestions are adding more to her stress and strain, but it only makes me think I am helping when I may not be. I still remember when my father got ‘sick.’ It was a nasty skin rash, and then a few weeks later, he passed. It adds to the anxiety. It happened once, so that it can happen again.

I bought a ticket home for the Chinese New Year. After all the jet lag, it will be only ten full days there, but at least I will be home to do something.