as this season decends into maximum crappiness i am left wondering who i pissed off in a past life. what did i do to deserve this i have no idea.
brent was told he might need oxygen when and if he comes home. he wont be coming home today. the people with the oxygen need to do an assesment first and set up the equipment as well and show him how to use it. brent said to me today that if he is too far gone and treatment wont help he will then go to hospice and die. i can understand his point. he does not want to suffer any longer than he has too. i wouldnt either. so now i am faced with the upcoming death of a spouse . i am not sleeping, or getting very little sleep. the house is quiet and lonely. i like being alone. having someone around all the time because you are working from home and then nothing tends to leave a gap in ones day. i am not eating much, mainly because i am not hungry. i have to though with the meds i am on.
so i will be bring him some dinner tonight. i got most of it ready. i got the table cleared off and nice dishes out. i made his pie. i ironed my shirts and cleaned the aviary.
i have to work tomorrow 1-9 so not sure if i will have a chance to see brent during the day. visiting hours are 11-1 and 5 – 8 due to covid they are shorter. so i think i might take time at dinner and go up anyhow and just be late coming back. dont think anyone will care.
break time is over i better finish things and get ready to go to hospital soon.
back from the hospital now ...brent is home for how. he has to go back on tues for a colon exam. and then on wed for his biopsy. so its going to be a long week being as i am also working on the weekend as well.
i am not sure where we go from here so it will be one day at a time....