I have been afraid to write for a very long time . I didnt want my ex to read anything i wrote for good reasons. But it seems now i might need to write again to leave something behind for those who choose to read my random thoughts.
i will start with today and randomly fill in my life as i go along. i have been off work since dec27 2019. i was at work when my retna detached . i have never been more terrified in my entired life. here i am behind the wheel and not be able to see where i am going. i have a cataract in my other eye. so off we go to ottawa same day to see the dr first thing the next morning.
the pain of the dr trying to see what was going on with my eye and deciding how to fix it was unreal. equal the child birth i think. poking and proding my eye moving it around and shining a very bright light to the back of my eye. i dont wish this on anyone. we spent a week in ottawa. i was legally blind for over a month. i could not see to do much of anything. i think i missed knitting the most.
so now it is may and i still cant go back to work. no glasses and no all clear note from the dr. so i try and keep busy with looking after the house and making dinner. i have also gotten back into doing some art. i think i have a way to use up all of the cards i have made. making them into mini junk journals. just have to find a market for them i guess. and i am working on collage too. helps to stretch my boundries in what i am able to do.
i did a painting class last fall. i really injoyed it and missed the class when it was over. i was hoping to take some more before my eye crapped out on me.and then this pandemic happened. so i am home longer as all the drs are closed for now. no idea when i will be going back to work.
so i am trying to find new things to make for dinner. hard when all i want is soup or toast. i dont have much of an appitite at all.
and with me now finally knowing what is wrong with me....i have fibro. i am not even sure i can go back to work and be as good at it. it scares me . i am supposed to be helping people when i need the help myself. how ironic is that.