i was in the dollar store and walked by the seasonal display of ...thanksgiving, and thought another holiday alone. my kids will be too busy to think to invite me to come over. i will probably be working anyway. just as well , its hard to be in an empty house on a holiday.
i know i have to stop looking back and look forward. so much around here reminds me of brent. just this morning apollo the bunny was doing the happy dance in brents chair, all i was thinking its a good thing brent didnt see that. then i thought he wont. he wont see alot of things. i wonder every day if he is still proud of me and how i am managing to carry on with out him. the small things i am able to do.
lots to do today. drs appt and errands. tomorrw starts 6 days and i dont want to spend any more energy than i have to doing running around.
i have to get the single mattress out of the back room too. i am giving it away. so will have to clear the hallway of the things i am giving away as well. then vaccum the cat hair as much as i can. will work on that when i can and the pain level is not through the roof in my knee.
my right knee is getting worse even with the brace. i dont wear it all the time, just for work when i need it most. when i come home i take it off. the pain level does not really go down and even in bed i find it hard to get comfortable. will have to ask the doctor about it.
the pain and fatigue takes so much out of me. i try and get something done eveyday, like ironing 2 work shirts, or washing the floor or parts of it. somedays i just dont. i use all my good energy at work...and i hate that.
so i did a thing today. i finished cleaning the top of the frig and washing all the stuff on it...yeh me. then i decided to make scones for the first time ever....omg they turned out so good. didnt take me too long and the recipe was really simple too. i have had 2 already. will make them again. they will be good takealong for work. the ones i made have raisins. i could make it with other dried fruit chopped very small. i love my food processer...
i got another sewing job to do..small but its still a couple of bucks. i dont mind doing it. as i can work on it at home.
my progress in the kitchen will be slow as i will work on it when energy permits. there is no way i could do it all at once.
my son is still ignoring me. i loaned him money and he cant be bothered to pay me back. i messaged him on facebook. i am not happy about the money and about not seeing the kids either. i really miss them. no idea if i will ever get to see them again.
time for bed....a long day tomorrow