its after work on tuesday. day 5 of 6. i made it through and didnt pass out. so i think i did pretty well. i did some chores , laundry is in the dryer now. i had to wait until the hydro was cheaper to turn it on. the utility companies love to price gouge people thats for sure. i hate them all. they tell us save save save. then when we mange to they raise the rates...assholes.
i got some happy mail today. a really nice card and my order of die cuts. they are small enough i can use them on my trading cards. i got a card ready to mail out today so i can drop it in the mail at work. its very handy having a mailbox there. i often wonder what the mail man thinks when he picks up all the letters i send out to places all over the world . does he wonder who this person is?
the last couple of days i am so hungry late in the day. i dont want to eat yet all i want to do is eat. maybe i am bored. i dont know.
brent works late . so maybe i am missing company. we dont talk much as we dont see each other much. but i dont have much to say anyhow. my days are boring and uneventful. i work and come home in pain. today i fell asleep in my chair, for how long i dont know. my life is boring. the little joy i have in my life is tempered with the fact i have little energy to do anything. i miss the girls so much i try and not think of them. it hurts too much to think of them. it will be another christmas with out them. i dont think we will be putting up the tree this yr. no point really neither one of us really wants to celebrate anything.
we try and make things special but it just falls flat and just does not feel right. i am working christmas anyhow. so i guess it does not matter. i will be doing the usual work on xmas day and feel like shit because i have no family who wants to spend time with me. i hate this time of year. i am old and never thought my kids would hate me.
i am going to bed now . see you all tomorrow....