its stupid oclock on sat morning. i didnt get anywhere near enough sleep last night. i hurt all over. i have warned a few clients that i may be very cranky by sunday night as i will have had only 12 hours sleep in 3 days. not sure what else i can do to warn them. i also called the office and wanted to know what i am supposed to do about lunch. well no one knew about the email that was sent to the office on tuesday. so half hour later i get a forwarded email asking us what to do. and i am thinking like shit you are the manager of this retirement home YOU figure it out ffs. i am so tired of people not willing to make choice on anything.
i dont think i will be very useful today for much of anything. when i dont get enough rest i am in alot of pain and short tempered. so will have to be careful on what i say and try and keep a calm face and voice around everyone. i also need a shower but right now too tired to care. when do i shower after work tonight , or this afternoon when i still have to go back to work? i dont know. i would like to spend a few hours today making a card or two, but will probly end up doing housework or making dinner. time to get ready for work...will be back later.
so now its monday. i still dont know what to do about lunch. i will be at the retirement home for 9 hours. i need lunch. so will have to find a place to hide and eat and make sure no one finds me while i am eating. i am very very tired and in alot of pain due to a lack of rest. will need extra pain meds today. i have 8 showers to do and i will be very warm as well and no escape from the heat.
i am hoping to finish this post later on depending on my energy levels of course. i have no desire to do much of anything when i am like this. i force myself to do chores and look after the creatures. i would love to spend days just resting i feel like crap and can barely move right now.
i have no idea what to make for dinner right now and frankly i dont care. all i want to do is go back to bed and sleep for about 10 more hours. i am at the point now where i dont care if i call in to work and say i cant come in. i am just a number and there is always someone out there willing to take the shit they dish out. i am just tired of the shit.
brent is getting worse i think. he has started to hide the pain. all he wants to do is sleep and his breathing is bad. i told him i would take him to emerg, he said no. so not sure what to do now. until he talks to the dr. he has no real idea what is going on. he thinks he might be dying and only have months to live now. i think he might be a little dramatic but who knows. men dont do well when they are sick that is for sure.
time to finish getting ready for work...be back much later.
i am finally home now. i did some grocery shopping after work. i didnt want to but it had to be done. its getting to the point where i am going every 2 weeks now. i spend less this way too.
the mood in the house tonight is very subdued. both of us are in alot of pain and very tired. i will be in bed early. i still have to feed the birds and rabbit then shower and bed.
i think brent is finally understanding what cronic pain really is. i think maybe he finally understanding what i deal with every day all day. i go to work with this pain and have to do chores with this pain. i have to keep going weather i want to or not.
i am going to stop here and post this. i need to start chores and finish putting some things away. see you all soon...