so its easter sunday. i spend yet another holiday alone and working. maybe its just as well i am working. less time to have a pity party. i miss brent so much. the house is still too quiet. sure i have the birds but i miss his voice. i miss his laughter i miss so much about him.
i am still working on getting everything out of the sunroom. i am not moving very fast though. blake was supposed to be keeping in touch with when the guys will be coming and all that. well i have not heard from him in more than a week. he has a new gf. so now i am on the back burner. i am not even sure he will finish the room and move in. he says he will but i somehow doubt it. i am so tired of moving things and having it all around me in the living room. sure it will force me to go through it but still its getting annoying.
a couple of weeks ago my oldest son messaged me. i was quite surprised. i never thought i would hear from my kids. but it has been great to hear from him again. he has been telling me all about his new job. he leaves tomorrow again for the season as he works remotely . he will drive about a 1000kms to the new site. i dont envy the drive. it will be a very long day for him. he took me out for dinner last week. i had not been that excited and scared in a long time. i was not sure what to expect but it went very well and we talked almost the whole time and outside in the parking lot. i shall miss him when he is gone. i am truly grateful he made the effort to come and see me before he left. i am glad we got to talk in person as well...i think it made a difference for us.
i also found out that my youngest son is still living in town. where is unknown right now. my oldest son suspects that his brother is doing drugs. but i have not seen him for a very long time so i cant say.
in the mean time i keep myself busy with knitting and art....art not so much. i think i have lost my creativity for now. i think of trying to make something and it makes me sad. all i do is remember brent and how he loved my work.
stupid oclock monday morning
i am so tired right now, and when i am this tired i am in alot more pain. i try and be so careful when i move around when i am working so i will minimize the pain but it does not always work. thank goodness i dont have to work tonight. i am going to stay home and go to bed early.
we are in lockdown again as of this past saturday. for the next 4 weeks not much will be open. so not sure if i will be able to get another mouse. i have lots of things i can work on craft wise. so i am not worried about that. i bring things to work on when at work. i am not going to sit and stare at the walls while waiting to see someone. i figure i might as well make the waiting time productive.
i also found out on the weekend i am not allowed to eat or drink when i am at work. its like WTF i will be dammed if i will go a whole shift without a drink of water at work. so shit is going to hit the fan when i finally get a hold of someone at the office. i am tired of this shit. the staff that is hired by the retirement home is allowed to eat and drink while at work. i am tired of being treated like a piece of crap. so i am going to get this sorted once and for all. one of my clients asked if i had easter dinner and i said no as i am not allowed to eat or drink in the building. she was so upset she kept saying sorry over and over again. i said its not her fault , its management doing this. i still cant believe someone would think this is ok to do to someone working a full day. i am sure they dont go a whole day without something to eat or drink...
so i called the office today and told them what i am not allowed to do at work, eat or drink. they said they would get back to me...when i have no idea.
so i joined a dating site. so far i dont see anyone i want to meet. i am certainly not into hunting and fishing...camping maybe..i guess i will give it some time before i delete my profile and be resigned to spend my life alone aka the crazy cat lady.