A diary about the other side of moving abroad

Home alone

And then I come home 

With my empty flat alone.

Even though I pursued my dream by moving abroad, I sometimes look back home and feel a bit jealous of the people who have their fixed friend circle. People you can rely on and people who know you since forever. People who were and are always there. 

In adulthood it is not particularly harder to meet and get to know new people, it is just that you lived a completely different life apart from each other, didn’t grow together and now you are meeting (settled) people with their fixed worldviews, goals and quirks. These quirks are just getting more and more the older you get. It makes it much harder to stick with someone. People eventually draw back and feel like the others should make a move. This results in more loose friendships, where you are greeting each other and talk a bit, but sit down on separate tables for dinner. This manifests in not letting you play in a friendly. This manifests in standing under the shower and thinking about who you would actually call a friend in your new city.

And then you feel alone, when you come home.