Madge Mahoney's Morning Musings

Waking up to high winds and weather warnings on a Saturday morning was a guaranteed way for a woman to have to rearrange any plans that had been made. Madge had loved the wind as a child but as an adult, she found it over rated. Could the wind be overated? Probably. She thought about the people along the West coast of the country and the possibility of 90mph winds that had necessitated a red alert message being sent to millions of homes. Madge wondered what one might do in that situation and concluded that the best thing would be to really stay in. Stay in and hope the rain stayed out. Would hope be enough in a land left to its own devices? It was clear that government had not served the people of Wales well. It was the fourth big storm of the year and it seemed, anecdotally at least, that it was all part of climate change. Everyone hoped for better. No one could agree on solutions.

It was the general disagreement amongst populations that had caught Madge’s eye over the past couple of days. It seemed that the world had now reached such a state of discord that literally everything and anything could be raised as a point of disagreement. Whether it was the big stuff or the little stuff, it all seemed up for argument. It concerned Madge, as it did most people she thought but there wasn’t much to be done except attend to one’s own reactions and responses. It was hard not to get dragged in.

Madge had always been easily influenced by others and opinions and opposition was a standard part of life and growing up. Now though, in these times of such extremes and with so little that felt believable because of the added ingredient of AI, it was more important than ever to be clear about one’s own self. Even as one explored whether there really was any separation. It was big deal stuff to consider but as the year was coming to its end, Madge wanted to be sure that she went within to find answers to questions that kept coming. In such an uncertain world, where was the certainty? It had to be within.

There were many things to consider when looking at the arc of one’s life. She was looking at relationships and friendships of the past, struck by the sometimes fleeting encounters that go on to shape our futures. A woman who had seen her in a cafe some 15 years ago was now a close friend who was a constant and reassuring presence in her life. A small child she had helped to raise was now a grown man with a life of his own, able to carry her shopping as he stood head and shoulders above her. A connection with another friend who had led her to the woman who was now her best friend and beloved. Connections.

These were the easier parts of sitting with one’s past but she had also been reflecting on some of the not so easy parts. The bits when we are young that possess us and lead us into situations we hadn’t imagined. She had been too sure that she was right when she was young and though this presented as confident assuredness, the reality was that she was often covering up her own insecurity. Too much apparent confidence can mean that we miss the nuances. The quiet people don’t get heard when the flash ones are going on.

It was the quiet ones that Madge was now interested in. The people who didn’t always need to be talking but who, when they did speak, added depth and flavour to the conversations. It was the small conversations around the table that now drew Madge rather than the big events and the attention of being the host or the speaker or the MC. Why had she ever wanted to be that person up front she wondered? Cos it was fun.

Fun. In itself an odd word and one that didn’t seem as easy to embrace since Covid. So much had changed over the past almost five years and Madge, like everyone, had somehow found a way through. Or not and that too was a huge influence on the fun factor. Could we really just move on from all the death and distress of the times and just keep going forward, looking for fun? Madge wasn’t sure that people could without some acknowledgment of what had been experienced but this of course was now up to each person to work out. Where are you? How are you? What do you need? How might I help? Are we connected?

It was a stormy morning already and Madge wondered whether it was the weather that was stirring so much in herself. She felt quite well, had enjoyed time with friends in the past week and had much to look forward to. All of this made it easy to be grateful. Yet, it wasn’t the same for everyone and this troubled her, even as she accepted that there wasn’t much to be done other than love people and let them know you were present. Was that enough Madge asked herself? It had to be. We have hearts, we have humility, we have connection. Everything else would fit within all of that.

Madge wished her friends a gentle weekend, hoped that each would find some serenity in the storms and with a quick look at the scraggly tree, devoid of birds who she assumed were sheltering elsewhere, Madge sent out Saturday’s cosmic hugs. Big love all round. Have a lovely weekend. xx