thoughts in the mornings

Spring was springing

It had been with some degree of relief that the woman had realised that the heaviness she had been feeling for a while had lifted. It was as if she had come through a darkness that had begun to feel like normal life.

She had always had periods of darkness, times when depression seemed to take over. As a child, she hadn't understood it and as an adult, she hadn't recognised it as depression. She had put it down to a kind of moodiness that would take over and leave her feeling hopeless. At times she had been overwhelmed with the state of things in the world and had considered it quite normal to be down about the way people had to live their lives.

It had been different since her wife died some years ago. She had seen up close how precious life was and had seen how much a dying person wants to live. It had made her grateful for every day and though she still had a tendency to get overwhelmed if she didn't manage her mind, she no longer spent days and weeks unable to shift the heaviness.

This was what she was feeling as she woke to a brighter day and saw the daffodils cheerily making their way up and towards the emerging sunshine. it was the same every year she thought. Just as the darkness and cold of winter starts to feel too much, the snow drops and daffodils start peeking out and remind us that no matter what is going on the minds of mankind, Mother Nature has her own rhythm and is always there to show us another way to appreciate life.

She wasn't quite sure what she was doing even writing all this about the state of her mind and the state of the world but she had begun to understand the value of consistency and she wanted to understand more about why humans are the way we are.

thinking again about what was going on in the news and the things she had been reading about how divided everyone was in their opinions about what should be done about the various difficulties being faced, she wondered how much people in charge were really conscious of. Was it all about power and control and status?

Did people in public service still feel that they were making a material difference to people's lived reality or were they all caught up in the machine? She knew a couple of people in local politics and they were decent people but she wasn't sure that they could really do much to improve people's lives against a backdrop of what felt like rapacious capitalism allowing every spare space to be filled by a beige concrete block. She sighed. Bit heavy duty for the morning isn't it? It made her smile. She'd always been a bit intense.

Today, she was a little tired but was looking forward to the gardeners coming. It sounded terribly grand to say the gardeners were coming but the truth was, she had a huge space and it needed some proper attention so that it could spring fully.

She got to thinking again about how to unite people. How to bring people together after a long period of separation. The garden had always been a good place to gather but since the pandemic, people had been less able and less inclined to mix. the last garden party had been five years ago for her 50th. She thought a series of light gatherings might be a gentle way forward and she set herself to planning.

it was time to put her grad plan into action and start the hahalala revolution in earnest. She'd possible come across as a loon to people who didn't know her yet but she was confident that her friends knew the drill. We're going to create a healthy, happy, loving, laughing way of life for all of us. She smiled again and decided that today was going to be a good day.