Writing Again
The thing about writing first thing every morning and then sharing those words was in its power to connect. Connecting with one’s own early thoughts allowed a connection with friends and loved ones and this was something that Madge was still seeking to explore. She hadn’t written for a full week and though it was good to have a break, by Sunday, she could feel that the thoughts were piling up in her head and she needed an outlet. This was it and she figured that even if she decided not to share much, it would still be good to get it out.
The previous day had been a delightful one. An early start with her beloved and her daughter, they had gone for a haircut and lunch. Celebrating their hairdresser’s birthday with love and halva, the four women had chatted about the deep stuff and cackled at their own madnesses. It had been hugely nourishing. The whole week had been like that. Fun, light, new things happening. Madge had managed to get new glasses, have two chipped teeth fixed and had picked up her brand new car. That had been pretty special.
Not everyone gets to drive a brand new car thought Madge and she found herself once again considering her good luck and fortune. When she had passed her driving test in the late 1980’s, she had been a sales rep for a company that rented out tvs and videos. Imagine that now she thought. We are used to being able watch it all in our hands with a phone but back then, people still rented televisions and satellite tv was brand new.
Madge had first worked in a bank when she left school but a friend had a friend who was looking for staff in a new job. Madge had leapt at the chance, having already become rather bored with banking. She had mainly been on customer enquiries and filing and on the one day she was allowed to be a cashier, she had mis-counted one deposit so badly, it had left a lunch time queue that went out of the door. She’d been mortified and when a chance came to do something else, she took it. A sales rep selling satellite tv.
Madge had always had the gift of the gab and she’d done well immediately. Looking back, it really was so simple and yet, she hadn’t realised. Hadn’t relaxed enough to really enjoy the simplicity. Perhaps we aren’t relaxed at 20. Maybe we are meant to have that restless drive to push us forward and find out more. She was now 55 and still not sure but she knew she liked driving a brand new car and being a sales rep was where it started.
Her boss had promised that if she passed her test, she’d be promoted to ‘Area Manager'.’ It had sounded very important and Madge passed her test. Second time. She was indeed promoted and was given a fully insured car, a petrol allowance and the freedom to go where she wanted outside of work hours. It was a stunning introduction to being a driver and Madge had the best of times. Of course, it was likely a pretty irresponsible way to do business but that was the 80s. It was all about money, image and excess. Madge had embraced it entirely as she did with all new experiences.
She had the suits, the heels, the executive briefcase and the car with all the trimmings. A perfect way to start your 20s. Of course, it wasn’t long before technology made rental a bit of a waste because everyone wanted to be owners and the company collapsed. Being used to a car, Madge needed another sales rep job and the next opportunity came with a cigarette company. Selling fags from the boot of her car to all the newsagents and off licences in her designated area. Sound like Only Fools and Horses she thought but at the time, it was a legit business model.
All the reps would go to the cash and carry in Twickenham on a Monday, choose the brands that their shops would most likely sell and then spend the week convincing shop owners to display their choices more prominently. The main brand was Camel with some low cost ones called Dorchester and a minty flavoured one that she couldn’t recall. There was no google or Waze or personalised sat nav to help with directions. Just area, a list of addresses and an A-z. Each rep got 400 free fags a week to use as examples, incentives and for personal use and would ring in with the week’s sales figures on a Friday. Insane.
That had been Madge’s second brand new car. When it got stolen because she’d left it outside a shop with the engine running whilst she popped in to see if they wanted any fags, the boss hadn’t been happy. Madge had talked her way out, been given a second chance, repeated the error the following fortnight and been sacked. It was a stressy time because being sacked meant no reference and no access to unemployment support. The only option was university and that’s what she did. Ironically, fags had brought freedom.
Now it was 30 years after graduating and somehow, she was still picking up a brand new car every few years. This time. it wasn’t a perk of the job but rather, a replacement for legs that no longer worked as they should. It would be easy to be despondent and of course, it would always be better to have good legs but in their absence, Madge was still able to feel a deep gratitude for living in a country that, with all its prevails, was still able to support those in need. The Motorbility scheme, in Madge’s view, was invaluable and once again, she gave thanks. It was her fifth Mini and each one was somehow bigger than the last. This one was black, not green like the last two and the woman in the showroom had chosen a plate that contained L A A. “I thought it would suit your hahalala’” she’d said.
Always the hahalala. It wasn’t what she thought she’d be doing 30 years ago but that’s life isn’t it? Always full of adventures and surprises. Madge was surprised that she’d written about cars this morning. She had intended to write about the day’s events in London the day before and all that was being stirred up in the search for patriotic belonging but perhaps that needed a bit of time to digest anyway. With thoughts of digestion and the prospect of a sunny day in the garden, Madge wished her friends a happy Sunday and considered the possibility of broth before 8am. It looked to be a good day to have a good day. Cosmic hugs and big love. xx