WARNING!!! LONG PARAGRAPH, IF YOU'RE GONNA READ, READ EVERYTHING. BOTH PARAGRAPHS (also friend me on snap, @uraviti.graviti)
In my school, just like every school, there's a hierarchy. I happen to be at the bottom, unfortunately. Luckily I have 3 friends that I love sm (most of the time) that I always hang out with. ALWAYS. No offense but it can get kinda sickening, but only after a few weeks, usually after 6. By then there's a 2 week break from school so it's fine. I always thought most of the girls hate me, because they always lowkey give me nasty looks and shii, I never get invited to parties, I'm on 3 group chats on snap and 2 of them are with the friends I mentioned. But today, one of my mutuals told my friend that those girls think I don't like them (more or less), so they never bother me. I don't believe it tho, as much as I want to, I know they hate me. I can feel it. It sucks, like ALL the girls in the grade except you are invited to parties, sleepovers, they match outfits, go shopping together and stuff, and you just see it on their stories. And I want to get THAT experience, as much as I have to act unbothered, I'm still just a teenage girl, I want to have more than 3 friends. But I've been going to the same school for 11 years, there's no way I can possibly just reinvent myself to make me more likeable to others. “Just be yourself” Shut up. Lord knows I've tried and it never works. Then people wonder why I never talk to them. And some of the girls are just borderline mean, like I constantly hear stories about them talking behind their friends backs about how dramatic and egotistical she is, then they hype her up to her face, I don't want to involve myself in that. That's why I never talk to them. Not that we're enemies at all but “Keep your enemies closer” is a sentence invented by manipulators who only think of themselves, if you don't like someone, don't talk to them.
So these girls, let's call them the SSS (short shorts squad, cuz they always wear short shorts) are matching for a school trip we're going on soon. LIKE EVERY DAY. So obviously like the petty bitch I am, I'm copying they're wardrobe, slightly. The problem is my conservative parents. Dressing baggy is my choice, but the one time I buy a crop top that GOES OVER MY BELLY BUTTON EVEN, it got confiscated. For being too short. MY SCHOOL DOESN'T EVEN HAVE A DRESS CODE, THERE ARE GIRLS WITH THEIR ASSES HALF OUT, AND SHIRTS THAT BARELY COVER THEIR TATAS, AND YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT A BARELY CROPPED TOP. Any who, I'm channeling my inner slut (JK JK) By that I mean I'm gonna wear a two piece swimsuit with A WHOLE HALF INCH OF MY STOMACH SHOWING (ikr), and maybe even.. DENIM SHORTS (im sorry that was so cringe). So whenever I go shopping, I can either go alone, or with a parent. So obviously I'm picking the latter. My parents are VERY generous, so with God's help, I can get a VERY generous budget that I can spend on summer clothes. But I've still gotta keep it modest because I myself am a christian by choice. See, I was meant to be a popular kid. Born to be a social butterfly, forced to be an INFP, 80% introverted. That result was the devil's work, not mine. So yeah, I really really hope the news is true,but if it isn't I'm used to people not liking me (I'm sorry that sounded so pick me) But yeah, ttyl <33