On the Sidewalk
1
The street was full of cars and motorcycles. They drove past me as I walked to one bookstore about 80 meters away from my house. I noticed many things have changed for the last 4 years. My “hometown” became a stranger I have to get acquainted with again. The town was as lively as how I know it, and there were many food stalls on the side of the road. It was Saturday night, people go out on that night. I am always fascinated when observing how many people are there. How many different life, different personalities. Also: How many different problems.
2
I remember the street in the capital city, near where my father lives. There was a project to renovate the sidewalk. Like many such projects, there were paid laborers involved. They came to the capital from various regions nearby, trying to get the job. When they get it, they start working. Otherwise, they will look for a similar project.
When the night came, they opened some plastic cloth. They used it to layer the stones of the sidewalk, on which they would sleep. Their tools were tied together with a rope and were kept close to their body. What they have were packed inside one bag. During the day, they stored the bag and the plastic cloth together on the barrack where they store supplies.
I thought to myself when I walked past them working on the day. This hard-working man could be someone's father or husband. In each strike of his pickaxe, it could be that the image of his loved one appears in one of the sparks it created. Under the burning sun and the tight humid air of the capital, this man tried to feed his family. His skin was burned, and I can see sweat was covering his skin.
3
There are times when the thought came to me that life is so empty and meaningless. One of the teachings said that life is nothing but a short visit on a very long journey. One should so live with a readiness to leave everything on that short visit, and continue on one's journey. It is short and temporary. What we meet there, we will be apart again sooner or later.
Another teaching said of the following: this life is an illusion, and one's highest goal should be to discover the true life hidden behind the illusion. Along with the teaching came the art of disciplining the senses and the body, so nothing would be perceived —when it is finally attained— but the truth.
One wise teacher from the east said, “Life comes with suffering, and there is no life without suffering. To be enlightened means to accept the suffering of life and yet leading a life of virtue.”
Life is empty unless it is filled. Life is meaningless. Therefore one gives its meaning.
4
I remember one of the dialogue I had with my mentor during my study in my hometown. He showed me his scar on his neck. “This,” he said, “is my personal reminder.”
“What is it for a reminder?” I asked him.
“So, I will live my life as best as I could.”
That scar was caused by a bomb explosion. My mentor used to sing in a boy choir when he went to elementary school. It was an uncertain time, our republic was so young that some people were trying to take over political power. On one occasion, our first president came to his school. I forgot why. On that same occasion, those people tried to take over political power: they wanted to kill the president. They failed. The president was saved, but the bomb exploded. Nobody died on that day, but my mentor was among the injured.
“You see, I don't really like to talk to those students that keep saying that they are not afraid to die for their idealism,” he said.
During that time, we also experienced various bomb attacks. Suicide bombing in the name of religion, in the name of political independence, any possible name.
“If I am going to recruit a youngster, I will prefer someone who is not afraid to live, one who is not afraid of life.”
My mentor at that time owned one of the national news magazines. He started as a poor engineer and ended up a media mogul that travels with a private helicopter. His life story is like something out of a movie.
He added, “Yes, one that is brave enough to face the hardships in life. One that finds solutions to problems, one that is not a coward! Do you know one of the ways to recognize a coward?”
“How?” I asked.
“Well, a coward will cheat. They will try to bribe you, try to win you with every dirty trick they could think of. When you are doing something, they will talk about this and that, saying that those would not work or something of that kind. But when you succeed, they will come to you and try to win you with their sweet words. They want a share, a share they do not deserve.”
For someone his age, I could see that his muscles are well maintained. I would not pick a fight with him.
“Do you have fear at all, Sir?” I asked him again.
“I do. Even when I said those words before, my heart is shaken with fear. But that exactly what it means to be brave.”
When I went abroad, I lost contact with him. But his final words on that conversation is one the thing I always remember.
“So young one, I am not sure whether we could meet again or not. Consider this a parting gift from an old man. Do you want to be someone who is not afraid of life?” He asked.
“Yes, Sir,” I replied.
“Then go out and play. Don't forget to study in the process, but I tell you: go out there and play. Play a lot. Try everything. No one can teach you about life unless you live it for yourself. Just don't abandon your studies. Don't abandon it completely, at least.” He said that with a laugh of a child.
I still sometimes buy his magazine.
5
The sidewalk was dark. I stumbled a couple of times. Some trees grow so big out of someone's front yard, and their roots push the stones on the sidewalk. The leaves made the light can't reach the surface. So spoke one maxim:
For every hardship in life, God washes the sin of His servant. These range from a deadly sickness to the stumbling on the road because of a rock.
I found out that the bookstore was not there anymore. It was closed and moved some time ago. Now stood a hotel there, three stars. However, I remember that there is one other bookstore just a couple hundred meters from where I stood. The traffic was high. I continued to walk to the next bookstore while the sidewalk got even worse.