Numbness
Today I want to talk about feeling numb, because that is how I have been feeling the last few days. It's just like I can't feel anything lately. If I am sad it doesn't feel like it's hitting me, if I am happy, I smile for a few seconds, but then the feeling is gone, and if I feel mad I don't have the strength to express it so I just let it go. Sometimes it is comforting to feel numb because at least the bad feelings are not so harsh, therefore I don't feel so anxious when I am in a numb phase, and the only anxiety I can feel is the physical one, not the mental one, which feels less heavy. But on the other hand, everything becomes so much more difficult to do, because I have no motivation and no will to do anything; everything requires so much effort. It's truly a weird feeling, it's like nothing is there but so much is there at the same time. It feels unnatural and I can't wait for this phase to end, even if it means I will be overwhelmed by the feelings, but it's here so I just wanted to acknowledge it.
Sorry if I am not writing as much lately, it's hard to find the motivation, but I hope you all are doing okay.
Lots of love,
Maybe I don't have a soul