Day 13
So, I made a mistake in my last post, I had Day 11 and subsequently used it twice. None of you, out of all of my one fan, failed to inform me lol and I didn't realise there was a 'Next' button located at the bottom of the screen (I just assumed it was continuous) so that's cool. Been at it for almost two weeks now. So yeah just wanted to clear that up. Which has gotten me thinking shall I rearrange the way the posts are organised, to have the latest at the top...I'll see.
My days are starting to become as they are everyday, my routine is pretty much set in place but I have regressed in one place; using my phone at night. I keep going over my intended end time and I really need to stop doing so. Sure, I can excuse myself over the weekend but I really don't want it spilling into the week. The reason why it's important to me is; I want to be less reliant on my phone during the times when I should be sleeping as odd as it sounds. Descarte was often mocked by his peers for laying in bed and thinking and I want to get to the point where I can lay in my bed without feeling the need to be on my phone, like I have a void that needs to be filled or my capacity for thinking has been replaced by going on my phone.
In the mornings I can busy myself with getting up, getting ready et cetera but if I lay there, then, that's where the difficulty arises. I have this inate desire, reaction to use my phone, it makes me feel somewhat safe and feels like home. However, when there is no phone then a feeling of being lost ensues. I want to remove this feeling, this reliance and to limit my usage to the day. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with it but it has it's time and place. No one opens their laptop as soon as they wake up in bed (well, some may do), but since phones are so small we allow ourselves to do so.
I want to be more than my phone, I want to be able to think, feel and ponder about myself and things around me even if its an hour before and after I go to sleep.
How can I possibly understand the world and those around me when I spend even less time understanding myself.