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Elmo Now A Licensed Psychoanalyst

Elmo, the little red rascal that lives on Sesame Street and in the hearts of many young kids, is a licensed psychoanalyst. Of course, that license was issued by the Sesame Street Board of Psychology and limits his services as a psychoanalyst to the residents of Sesame Street. However, Elmo has not passed up an opportunity to help millions around the world with his unique illeistic approach to tell people he loves them. And Elmo loves everyone. Last Friday, Elmo asked, “Elmo is just checking in! How is everybody doing?”. The responses ranged from “Doing great, Elmo!” to suicide notes in 140 characters. Elmo replied to many of these messages with “Elmo loves you!” or “Elmo hopes you are doing okay.” For the more dire messages, Elmo sent messages with emotional well-being resources. While X, Threads, Facebook, and Instagram are no place for a therapy session, Elmo's approach offered many people comfort. Unfortunately, the Texas State Board of Examiners of Psychologists has filed a complaint with the Sesame Street Board of Psychology, demanding that Elmo's license be revoked and that the board file charges against Elmo for widespread psychological harm. The Texas governor decried Elmo's intrusion into everyone's miserable lives online and Elmo's “woke agenda”. He then directed ten buses of illegal migrants to the Sesame Street address.