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Nutella Found to Have the Wrong Nuts

Nutella, the chocolaty spread made with hazelnuts, cocoa and, a ridiculous amount of sugar, has been recalled throughout North America. Ferrero, the Italian maker of Nutella, said in a statement that while they maintain strict tracing of their hazelnut supply, the hazelnuts sourced for processing in North America were not actually hazelnuts—they were Brazil nuts. The switch was believed to have been orchestrated by a disgruntled Brazilian employee as an elaborate joke. Several consumers that purchased the Brazil nut version of Nutella reported the different taste but complimented the company on the new flavor. An unnamed source in the marketing department at Ferrero indicated that the recalled products will be relabeled as a new version of Nutella. Early market studies are showing promise for this new version of Nutella, which hasn't changed since 1964, except for that time in 2017 when the company changed the recipe and consumers revolted. Ferrero hasn’t decided on a product name yet. Some ideas being considered include Nutella II, Brazilian Nut-ella, and New Nutella—in an homage to New Coke. The Italian Hazelnut Producers Association, a known front for the Foggian Mafia in Italy, has already started pressuring the company to remain true to its family roots or else face brutal hazelnut supply consequences.