School Board President Ousted Over Tacos
The North Forester County School Board voted President Jane Dooey out of office in Monday's turbulent school board meeting. President Dooey angered a small but vocal group of citizens and fellow school board members by refusing to bring forward a vote to issue a bond to fund taco bars in the corporation's fourteen schools. Prior to the vote to vacate the Office of Board President, Ms. Dooey explained her position on conservative fiscal management and opposition to the “pro taco” movement that seek to exploit the creditworthiness of the corporation for gastronometric gains to the detriment of student health and the financial wellbeing of the school system. She was shouted down by the assembled spectators with chants of “Tacos today! Tacos tomorrow! Tacos forever!” The vote was 5-4 to remove her from office. The school board is now paralyzed to conduct corporation business. There is also no Vice President, as the Officer Selection Committee has refused to forward any candidates for a vote, citing the corporation's current rules on providing hand sanitizer stations in the bathrooms.