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Striking Writers Demand Change in Mandated Candy Dispensers

The Writers Guild of America (WGA) strike entered its 164th day today. Negotiations with the Alliance of Motion Picture and Television Producers, the AMPTP, have hinged on several key points, most notably the use of artificial intelligence to replace writers completely. There are also smaller yet substantive issues under dispute. The AMPTP wants to remove contractual requirements for the writers have a “ample” supply of therapy pets, fully loaded Pez dispensers based on Marvel superhero characters, and a bathtub supply of Vaseline. The WGA has always pushed back on the choice of Marvel character Pez dispensers for years. However, they have held firm on needs for the Vaseline and cuddly support animals for their “writing process”. The AMPTP’s Negotiator AI system, known as “Reagan 2”, is confident of success in the elimination of these specific requirements or the writers themselves. “Bully Fighter”, the Guild’s negotiation AI, is optimistic that the Pez dispensers can be changed from Marvel characters to Shakespearean characters, especially those from MacBeth. Unilever, maker of Vaseline, released updated financial guidance that anticipated an uptick in Vaseline sales once the strike is resolved.