Texas Bakery Says No to Dozens
The Austin, Texas bakery Wheat Rulez announced today that it will switch its counting system from dozens to tens. Bakery owner Tom McCall said that rising inflation had forced the counting switch to keep his business alive. McCall, a former middle school math teacher, indicated that traditional ties to the duodecimal system originating in Mesopotamia no longer make sense in a modern economy. Starting next Monday, Wheat Rulez will sell in base ten units instead of base twelve. Ten donuts will be priced at the same amount as twelve. Don't even ask about a baker's dozen since this isn't the 16th century anymore. Most regular customers of Wheat Rulez are not shocked by the change with the current rate of inflation. However, the local chapter of College Republicans have organized protests outside the bakery holding signs that say “No Metric System for Americans”, “Dozens are Better than Tens”, and “No 12 Shaming. More is Better.” The Texas Board of Bakeries has launched a shrinkflation investigation. The National Bakers Association threw its support behind Wheat Rulez and launched a national campaign to advise other bakeries on the advantages of the metric system.