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I May Be A Bluepiller But I'm Not Evil

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It’s sickening that there are people who tell complete strangers online that their most painful struggles are imaginary and that if they just ignore the pain, things will get better.

For example, I’ve seen this attitude expressed towards one of the most depressed and isolated communities on the Internet — the “blackpill.” This term refers to an incel group founded on the belief that no matter what they do, they are predetermined to never find someone who will fall in love with them. They’re also extremely isolated due to the blackpill philosophy being at odds with mainstream society’s understanding of relationships, which the blackpillers refer to as the bluepill. So, on top of feeling lonely, they also feel that no one outside of the blackpill understands them.

Some may notice the unbearable mix of anguish and hopelessness on blackpill forums and wonder why anyone would choose to be a blackpiller, but you have to remember that people don’t choose philosophies, they adopt them based on their experiences and the evidence presented to them. Hence, some bluepillers have suggested that even though blackpillers show a lot of hate towards women, they may just be lost souls and that they deserve mental health support from bluepillers.

While I am not opposed to this suggestion in theory, I keep seeing bluepillers use this as an excuse to message blackpillers they don’t even know, insisting that the bluepill is the way to go and that they can find love if they just adhere to a predetermined handful of bluepilled strategies. This would be tone-deaf even if they were just messaging other bluepillers who struggle to find love, because these are complete strangers and because things can be more complicated than that. But considering they are talking to people who are convinced that a) blackpill philosophy is real, b) that it is taking away their reason to live, and c) that the bluepill ignores these issues? Unbelievable. I can only envision this isolating blackpillers even more and worsening their mental health.

The first rule of making someone feel understood is to take their current situation into account. Based on what I’ve seen in my life, the bluepill is accurate, not the blackpill, but I need to remember that this does not reflect the blackpillers’ experiences. What do you do when talking to someone who already believes there’s no solution to their loneliness?

Why not just tell them: “I can understand that you are going through mental agony, and I’m sad that you feel this way.” End of story! Then you might make them feel more understood without advocating for the blackpill.

I hope that if any blackpillers are reading this, that I’ve shown them that bluepillers don’t necessarily have to be blind towards blackpill struggles. They may never take the blue pill again, but at least they don’t have to feel so hateful towards mainstream society after all.

#MentalHealth #Isolation #Society #Culture #Loneliness


Medium comments:

Maybe no matter what color pill someone identifies with, self-obsession is the culprit of their flaws. For instance, self-loathing and self-exaltation are two sides of the same coin. The key may be to stop thinking about yourself to feel better about life.

Robbie Newport

Interesting point. Yeah, it would be great if people cared more about people they talk with online and what they're going through. Think of it this way. The Internet allows you to communicate with people you would have never been able to talk to in person. If people embrace the Internet from this perspective, instead of using it to reinforce the type of bonds they make in real life, then maybe that will help them use the Internet to be less self-obsessed and more understanding of others.

Kevin the Nonmonetized