Overcoming Life's Challenges by Working on Emotions
I have some papers with important messages displayed on a wall in my bedroom. These messages are designed to help me navigate life’s challenges and allow myself to feel happier.
One of the papers says, “deal with the world as it is, not as it must or should be.” I can see how this motto applies when people lose their temper after disagreeing with each other. In this case, an example for “dealing with the world as it is” would be to resolve the disagreement peacefully and respectfully. When people show their anger, they lose sight of that goal. Then, it’s no longer about coming across as someone that others would want to accept. Instead, it completely becomes about having things their way.
The statement “deal with the world as it is, not as it must or should be” does not necessarily advocate submitting to the status quo. You may find that your beliefs and values are at odds with the establishment, who are defining what “must or should be” the way to do things.
Another paper lists five components of emotional intelligence:
1. Knowing your emotions
2. Managing your emotions
3. Recognizing emotions in others
4. Managing emotions in others
5. Motivating ourselves to achieve our goals
I like to conceptualize this list’s fifth item as a tool to manage the first four items. Some form of motivation can definitely be useful considering how challenging it can be to keep track of four things at once. What makes it especially hard is that sometimes when applying one of the skills in the list, you may find that it makes an impact on how a different skill on the list should be carried out. This could mean that even if you already think you had one of the components handled, you may need to return to it and revise your decision in a way that cooperates with other components.
This is a perfect example of why emotional intelligence is such a demanding skill. No wonder people don’t always succeed at it. It’s important to decide what matters the most to you and consistently use it as motivation to succeed at emotional intelligence.
Another one of the papers has four tips: speak with honesty, don’t take anything personally, don’t make assumptions, and always do your best. The older I get, the more obvious it is that following these instructions will reduce miscommunication and conflict. I also think they are the keys to a successful online community, so I set them as standards for Non-Monetized Together.
Thank you for reading this article. I appreciate your comments, but before you respond, please remember that I’m not some sort of self-help guide or expert. I’m a student in life, just like you. It wasn’t me who wrote the messages on my wall, either. I just found them useful and I wanted to share them with you.
“deal with the world as it is, not as it must or should be”
The old is/ought problem.
You can't get an ought from an is.
Unfortunely, many people seem to have 12 million opinions on what things ought to be, and never looking at what acutally is.
I totally agree with you Kevin. It is much better to accept thw world and act one's best in it, rather than trying to change reality to suit ones own wants and desires.