Live in the moment
My daughter is about to be 8 next month and she’s become more independent, and worries about us not getting hurt or fight. She spends a lot of time in her room and doesn’t want the boys to bother her. I don’t blame her 🤣. She’s becoming a big girl. She’s becoming who she will be the tomorrow. I didn’t think it would hurt me or making me sad at all. For the longest time when she was younger I wished that she would hurry up and grow up so she wouldn’t be so difficult. I didn’t realize that is true what most parents say “enjoy every moment because they grow up so fast”. When raising 3 toddlers is exhausting, no time for you or even a shower everyday. That’s a luxury. You do wish they grow up quickly so your life gets easier. What we don’t realize is that we are blinded by frustration and we are seeing our kids life passing by right in front of our eyes without even noticing it. Life does become less hectic and more fun and a little more time to yourself eventually. Our kids are growing up watching us and they become a reflection of us. If we are angry, frustrated, depressed, emotionless, they grow up to be the same. If we teach our kids that we will make mistakes and yell at them from time to time or even lose our shit. But also they see love, patience, happiness, content, sad but hopeful and angry but not abusive. Then maybe they will grow up to truly love us and respect us. What we don’t realize that them growing up; they will become quiet, distant, resentful, sometimes full of hate, sad and forgotten. Life won’t be as hectic for us as parents but more playing mind games, worry, guilty, angry and also forgotten. They will keep you up a lot of nights hoping they aren’t arrested, overdose or worst, dead. Thats when you will then realize that you were frustrated when they were little. You could control them then. They trusted you with the entire being. They were cute and loving. That time is gone and won’t ever return. You would pawn a limb to get that moment back for a day. A few months ago it finally hit me. One day I had a couple glasses of wine and I was feeling a little emotional. I saw it right there like if had just seen my kids for the very first time. They are growing up. Showing their individuality, character and interest. I feel guilty because I felt like I wasted so many years without actually enjoying them, with the good and the bad. It really breaks my heart that I cried so hard because I lost a piece of their history without even doing it on purpose. I can’t go back in time but I can press a reset button and do better. I can choose to get to know them, earn their respect, give them a voice and make them feel acknowledged and loved. Then maybe even when frustrated or resentful at me then maybe just maybe then will continue to come around and love me. They will make mistakes and make us worry, angry and upset but they will always come back. Because they truly love us and respect us. That’s what most of us did with our parents. Tonight take a real good look at your children and enjoy them. Today.