« From Jason | Free typos included.

If Apple doesn't fix Siri soon, I'm out.

I have everything a person entrenched in Apple's ecosystem would have— iPhone, iPad, Apple Watch, MacBook Pro, etcetera, etcetera.

Type: #Note
Re: #Design #Siri #Technology

I have a thousand purchased songs and 250 movies on iTunes. My AirPods are an extension of me during work hours (and after work if I'm honest).

Leaving Apple for another ecosystem would be a messy divorce in which I would lose everything. Yet, I yearn. I long. I flirt. Anytime I shout, “Hey, Siri,” I wonder what could be if my virtual assistant wasn't a fucking idiot.

It didn't take long for Chat GPT to become an everyday tool. I use it to flush out concepts, for technical writing, and javascript coding. Hell, last night, I worked with the AI to create an ADHD playlist to help me find my focus when I work. It was a huge success.

Today, Open AI keeps Chat GPT in a chatbot format. Unless you're Microsoft or one of Open AI's “friends,” you can't do much more with Chat GPT than text back and forth. The same goes for Google's Bard (or whatever they're doing now). This format will soon evolve, and AI will power our virtual voice assistants. Cortana and Google Assistant are poised to take a giant leap forward and be for us everything we hoped Siri would achieve by now.

Siri is shit. Even by non-AI standards, Siri fucking sucks. Half the time, it doesn't respond. And when it does, it's a coin toss on whether it will actually help me with what I need. Siri is slow, unhelpful, and dumb; I can't take it anymore. I want Siri to answer my questions without sending me to the web. I want to write an article as I walk down the street and know what I'm dictating is making it to the page. I want Siri to understand the context, remember conversations, and know when to reference them.

I know what you're thinking— Jason is like that guy in the movie Her. He's going to fall in love with his virtual assistant. Let me tell you something. I am ready to break my heart if that's what it takes to get the virtual assistant we were all promised.

I'll jump ship if Microsoft or Google can put a powerful, conversational AI in my ear before Apple. I'll be the green text bubble in everyone's group chat. Do you hear me, Tim Cook? I'll fucking do it, bro. So help me, God.

I don't want three thousand dollar virtual reality goggles. I don't want new spring colors for our iPhone cases (I do want that). I want you to fix Siri. Do it now. This is embarrassing. I hate it. Get your shit together.

Created: April 5, 2023
Last Evolved: —