Soft Reboot
Offline, I wrote:
I’ve been spending some time, literally tonight and in general, bopping around the current, uh blogosphere. I’ve found a few sites, I believe from ooh directory that are doing basically the exact thing I could see myself doing which is… this, right now. Except in a blog instead of privately, talking to myself in Notion.
Why not do this in a blog? Why I am here? Because I don’t think anyone will read it? I just read a bunch of random blogs. So its clearly not that hard to get it in front of some eyes.
Because I don’t want to invest the effort? That’s very possible, but that’s also the kind of energy I’m trying to transform.
Because…it will suck? Well probably but that’s a bad reason not to do something.
And so, I'm here. Again. For the first time. Again.
I don't need to know how this will all go in order to do it at all. I need to keep telling myself that.
Something I read tonight, from this new personal blog I discovered discussing their love of 'daily bloggers':
I also like it when they don’t have all the answers, as prescriptive blogs aren't my jam. The more they write without an overactive filter, the better. It allows me to learn/discover things alongside them.
That's... facinating. Because, trying to actually answer my above question of “Why am I not just blogging?”, I realize a large part of my hesitation to engage with blogging specifically (as opposed developing and writing more polished “essay” posts (which I don't do much either but for different (bad) reasons...)) is because I devalue what I write when I “write without an overactive filter”. I doesn't feel “real” and I can't imagine anyone would want to read it. I literally don't see the value in it for anyone outside of myself.
...and then I think of all the time I've spent reading other people's personal blogs and zines, and things like published diaries, notebooks, sketchbooks, etc.
So yeah. I think I just need to get out of my own way and type stuff on the damn internet. And go from there.
Thanks, Veronique.ink!