𝐀 𝐓𝐑𝐒𝐧𝐠 π“π‘πšπ­ π–πšπ§π­π¬ π•π’π«π π’π§π’πš

π–₯π—‹π—ˆπ—† 𝖲𝖺𝖼𝗄𝗏𝗂𝗅𝗅𝖾-π–Άπ–Ύπ—Œπ— π—π—ˆ π–Άπ—ˆπ—ˆπ—…π–Ώ
𝖬𝗂𝗅𝖺𝗇 [π—‰π—ˆπ—Œπ—π–Ύπ–½ 𝗂𝗇 π–³π—‹π—‚π–Ύπ—Œπ—π–Ύ]
π–³π—π—Žπ—‹π—Œπ–½π–Ίπ—’, π–©π–Ίπ—‡π—Žπ–Ίπ—‹π—’ 𝟀𝟣, 𝟣𝟫𝟀𝟨

I am reduced to a thing that wants Virginia. I cannot seem to choose the right phrase to express how profound I feel. I’ve composed you a prepossessing letter, in the midst of night, and.. it has all gone. I just miss you, in the most desperately human way.

You, and your extensive choice of words, would never write a phrase so elementary such as that; perhaps you wouldn’t even feel the same way, yet the insolent such as I believe you might.

You’d clothe yours with a much exquisite expressions that it’d lose a little of its reality; whereas with me, I’m quite plain. I miss you more than I presumed; and believe me, I was prepared to miss you immensely.

This letter is just.. a squeal of pain, contrary to what I first intended. It is incredible how significant to me you have become.

I suppose you are accustomed to people saying these things. Damn you, spoilt creature. I shan’t make you love me any the more by giving myself away like thisβ€”but oh my dear, I can’t be clever and standoffish with you. Β I love you too much for that. Too sincere.

You have no idea how standoffish I can be with people I don’t love. I have proved myself adept in doing so. But you, Virginia, have broken down my defences. And I don’t begrudge it.

Please forgive me, Virginia, for I have produced such a grievous oeuvre.

V.

Samael
Posted first in @SHllXUN
[Friday, November 6th, 2020. 06:26 AM.]

W/N: this writing’s origin is fragments from The Letters of Vita Sackville-West to Virginia Woolf, paraphrased accordingly to the writer’s interpretations.