Pet peeves (part 1)
So... this will be petty. But I'm short on sleep and having a hard time focusing. And a good chunk of the reason is due to the soon-to-be ex's behavior last night.
Turns out late night watching of Contagion by your 11-year old right before bed, in the middle of a similar (though, thankfully, less deadly — I think) pandemic, isn't conducive to him easily falling asleep. I'm sure many who've raised a kid wouldn't be too shocked by this.
So, besides the after-effects of that (the kid slept in my bed after talking a lot about death and how he'd prefer to die, and neither of us got much sleep)... This morning the ex did his usual “quiz my spouse” about something he could totally google. But, he likes to quiz me, then nitpick my answers later, after he looks something up, so he can point out all the places where I was wrong. Mind you, I'm well aware of this game, so ALL my answers are couched in disclaimers. I used to think he'd understand that I was answering his query based on my understanding of something, but that I knew I could easily be wrong. More like I was telling him what I thought the answer was — but to double-check. Just a quick, gut response, and to take it as only that. But, he seems to revel in me not having perfect knowledge of everything. So, unless I specifically say “I don't know for sure, but I think...” or “last I heard, but this may have changed...” he will jump on the chance to later say “you said xyz and you were WRONG.” Sigh. I think in part this is because he's often a fountain of misleading or just plain wrong info. Or misses key details. And I often keep my mouth shut, or say something tame like “oh, I hadn't heard that... I'd read something different.” But when he's spewing what I think is bad info to others... Sigh.
Anyway, after the fun of trying to convince my kid at midnight last night that this pandemic is not just like Contagion, but still pointing out it is deadly for way more people than anyone would like (because he's old enough to hear the basic reality and wonder why we never leave the house)... this morning, I get quizzed on the details of the state's 14-day quarantine rule. So... I start my disclaimer-fest (because he gets pissed if I just say “I don't know, did you ask google?”), and tell him the last I heard — and that I know it's in the process of changing, because the whole world is in flux and rules are constantly changing — especially about “opening up.” And I told him I hadn't read the latest news about it.
This brings me to... I think I'd like to list my pet peeves. I know he's got a list (even if it's not written down) about me. And I could even list a bunch of them. But it's for me. To remind me, that besides the lying, we had other fundamental issues. Many petty. But add them all up... and when you start asking yourself, is it worth accepting the lies because the rest of the relationship is so great... yeah.
So, I'm going to let my petty-flag fly. Because I am shit-tired. And right now, I want to blame him. Without starting an actual fight with him. Because it's not worth it. And it's just mean. But anonymously? As “therapy”? Yep. Don't feel as bad about that. :)
I'll put it in the next post. My list is long...