Travel whims...
So, in addition to all our other issues we need to sort out to work toward a divorce... Dick has mentioned a couple times that he's planning to go visit his sister(s) out of state. In the middle of a pandemic. It's about a 10 hour drive and crossing 6+ state lines (depending on the route) to get to the closest one. Through major metro areas in the NE. Our state has a clear “Stay at Home” order — that prohibits anything beyond essential travel. It states that when you return (or travel) to the state you must self-quarantine for 14 days. There's a minor fine (up to $1000) and jail time (up to 6 months) tied to this — so it's a little bit more than a “request” by the state.
He's been extremely paranoid about getting this until now. He has asthma (and has had to do breathing treatments with oxygen at urgent care in the past), and is older (mid-50s). But suddenly, because he's special, he thinks it's ok to drive down to the mid-Atlantic area (through some hotspots) and visit with his sister (who has a spouse who's periodically leaving the house for work — note: I've been told he no longer leaves the house, but as with anything coming out of Dick's mouth, I have no way to know if this is true or not — the whole reason I'm done with this marriage is his comfort with lying). Then he wants to come back and just hang out here as though it's no big deal. Even though we'd talked about this before and he decided against it because of the risks.
I told him I'm not comfy with this. His “need” to visit with family and put himself (and his sister's family) at additional risk doesn't supersede my right to keep my kid and myself as safe as possible. Technically, he's violating a state order, to leave here to hang out with his sister(s). And, again, until now, we were on the same page with this — so it's not like we've had any philosophical differences about the pandemic and what we were going to do.
So, looks like his moving out day is coming sooner. Is it likely he'll get coronavirus/covid-19 if he makes the trip? Nope. Is it a risk I want to take? Nope. Hell, even though I go out grocery shopping every 2-3 weeks, we haven't even ordered takeout from anywhere because of the exposure concerns (even knowing those are minimal). And we live where the exposure risk is pretty low. And still, we don't go out beyond essentials.
It comes back to my fundamental issue with him. Despite being in a marriage (for almost 16 years), at his core, his philosophy is: if I really want to do it, I'll do it. And then... sometimes he'll lie to try to cover up what he's done, and sometimes he won't. And I'm sure he'd cite any number of times he didn't get to do what he wanted to do because I gave him crap or talked him out of it, or whatever. I could make my own list of things I didn't get to do, too. Welcome (and now goodbye) to marriage.