A place where stuff falls out of my mind and onto the electronic writing space

I miss nature...

Nature is healing. Nature is pure and real, encompassing the entirety of our world. Without nature, our planet is concrete and pain, busy and tiring. Nature replenishes and recharges. Nature is life, and life is nature.

I have never been an avid 'outdoorsman' as many Americans would call it. I greatly enjoy being outdoors, hiking and enjoying the purity of the Earth Mother. I like camping but I'm not exactly a good camper. For me, the experience is just being there and seeing the beauty. I don't want a fancy RV (although they are nice!), and I don't want a tiny tent. I would prefer to be alone at a campfire with a large and pleasant tent or cabin, listening to the wind in the trees and the birds singing beautiful songs.

I have hiked mountains across Hawaii dozens of times, from easy trails on the north shore to the lava rocks of the Big Isle. The Ko'olau Mountains make for amazing views and breezes, only 15 minutes from downtown Pearl City or Honolulu. But there are challenging hikes I've enjoyed too... the peaks of the Ko'olau are a days journey to the top and hikers have been lost up there. The north side Kauai has scenery that is unmatched anywhere in the world. My favorite was the Kalalau Trail, although I did not make it all the way around the island. It had some terrifying cliffs!

I have only had a few small hikes since moving back to the Continental US, and those were small hikes. I miss it. Sure, I should pack up a bag and go… but I’ve been a caregiver at home now for 9 years and a part-time caregiver for twice that long. Getting away even for a half day takes planning and sacrifice, and sometimes I just don’t want to deal with the complications of it all. I need an escape and I’m just not getting the chances like I used to get.

I believe that eventually I’ll get a chance. I don’t know when or how, but nature and the Kindreds will open a door that I will take when I see it. I hear so frequently about how I need to take care of my life when I’m a caregiver, but I kind of feel I’m giving my life to my partner so that someday I can have a little left for myself. Maybe someday… one can hope the opportunity isn’t gone.