6/22/21
Garrett said he didn't sleep well. Said when he (finally) went to bed he laid awake for 2 hours. When I asked why, he said anxiety. Ahh, the power of suggestion. Mine went unnoticed for over a week. When he finally caught on, he adopted it for himself. Just great. Difference is, he incapable of (or refuses to) controlling his temper when his “anxiety” kicks in. He feeds into it, works himself up, until he's in a full-blown rage. He was doing that slow tap with his feet this morning. Next will be face in his fists staring down into the ground or frowning off into space until he finds something to start complaining about. He was mad at the dogs this morning for their usual antics. As if he just now noticed they're hyper and noisy. It doesn't ever occur to him that I deal with them all day every day. Can't walk anywhere without tripping over someone or getting knocked in the knees while they tear through the house playing. Can't sit down without two dogs jumping on me and getting in my face. I love them, but it's nonstop and therefore obnoxious. But let him hear a cat meow from the other room ... just once ... and he's shouting.
I got my bike fixed yesterday. Going to try to get out for a ride today. Hopefully that will help my anxiety a bit ... at least until he gets home.
My breasts are sore today. So I guess we can expect some hormonal changes over the next few days.
Well, he's starting again.
We were sitting outside after work chatting for a while. I was sitting in the sun and uncomfortably hot so I went inside. He stayed outside. Several minutes later he came in and walked straight to the bedroom. Few minutes after that he comes out, having showered, and announces “I'm gonna go eat. If you want to come with me you can.” I asked what's wrong. He replied “nothing, I'm just gonna go eat ” I pointed out that it's not normal for him to just announce he's going to eat. I told him it seems he's mad at me for going inside. He disappeared into the garage for a few minutes, then cam back. “You coming?” I declined, because it didn't seem like he actually wanted my company and I could sense his mood shift (I didn't say that). He left and drove away much faster than normal.
Just like that the anxiety is back in full swing.