His Favorites
“Boundaries”
“Slap in the face”
Name-calling (liar, narcissist, asshole, bitch, cunt, fag, tranny)
Overreacting
Getting rid of things when angry (pets, trying to make me get rid of my child)
Bringing up the past
Comparing me to exes
Arguments last 2-3 days
“I'm leaving / get out / it's over!”
Pushing buttons until he gets a reaction, then latching on and turning it into a fight
Complaining about Madeline until it turns into a fight – then turning it onto me
Accuses me of defending her
She's “swinging from [my] titty” or “sitting on [my] lap”
Telling me I'm a failure as a mother
Blames Madeline for everything – claims she's the only reason we fight
“If it wasn't for her we wouldn't have any problems”
Note: he complained/fought so much about my 3 kittens I got rid of them. Now he's trying to do the same with my 2 adult cats (yes, I had a lot of cats when we met. He was warned and claimed it didn't bother him. One of his earliest lies to me. He was probably already deciding what to change about me)
Recently started trying to bring others (like Zach) into our fights to choose sides or validate him. However, he always twists the story to put himself in a favorable light. (I refuse to play along)
Dec-Jan 2021 started talking about seeing other people when angry
– “There are plenty of other women in this town!”
– “You should find someone else, I will do the same” (NYE)
– told me via text to find someone that “gets a blow job before coming home from work” (he still refuses to see anything wrong with this statement, even though his ex wife was cheating on him while he was a work)
Only pays cash or makes me pay at the adult store – does he share a bank account with someone?
Blames me for lack of sex, but then picks fights or falls asleep so we don't have sex
“Fist bump relationship”
Claims he's a Christian (to try to prove he's better?), but refuses to go to church, pray with me (strongly recommended by his life coach) or read his bible.
His mood swings seem to coincide with our menstrual cycles. I suspect low testosterone – very moody/angry, more estrogen exposure than he's ever had before, seems depressed, he's 47, losing hair, tired all the time. He refuses to see a Dr. and is VERY angry that I suggested it. Also has libido issues. Comes quickly (never used to), goes soft, just not interested. He blames me and Madeline – stress?
Gaslighting?
Love-bombing? (early on)
Often won't stop verbally attacking me until I'm crying/sobbing. I've literally begged for mercy several times – but still he will continue until he's had his fill.
Note: I've never been a big crier, now it happens often
Can't go 30 days without telling me to leave (summer/fall/sinter it was every 1-2 weeks)
If someone else does something that upsets him he overreacts and takes it out on me. (game night)
Cancels plans so we can fight
Never wants to see (or complains about seeing) his family – yet insisted on moving back home to Wisconsin
Alienated most of my friends
Pressured me into moving to Wisconsin with him (I'm not the first!!)
– I ended up selling my house in Arizona and losing my job. Almost immediately tried to throw me out.
Jan-Feb I feared it would start to get physical. He started blocking me in doorways with his body, acted like he would body check me, slam or throw open doors, tried to snatch my cat out of my hands.
Becomes irritable watching Fox News, but refuses to limit exposure. (I always know a fight is looming when he starts turning on Fox)
Slamming doors
Stomping around
“Selfish”
“Lib” or “Libtard”