An Ode to Toast
How much did you spend on breakfast at McDonald’s this year? I spent $1328.79. Is that a lot? It seems like a lot. My usual order (bacon egg and cheese biscuit and a large Coke) runs about $6.25. So that means I ate breakfast at McDonald’s roughly 212 days this year. 58% of my days in 2023 started in a McDonald’s drive-thru. No wonder I’m depressed. But there is hope. I haven’t been to McDonald’s since December 21st. And how have I managed that feat of restraint? Toast.
Toast is good. Toast with butter and jelly. Toast with honey. Or my personal favorite, toast with peanut butter. Toast with peanut butter is saving me. Instead of scarfing down 700 empty calories of sugar and fat each morning, I’m now scarfing down two slices of Dave’s Killer Bread with one knifeful of Jif peanut butter split between the two slices. I also have a glass of fizzy water or juice and a couple spoonfuls of Greek yogurt. No cooking eggs or frying bacon or constantly wondering if the milk in the fridge is expired. There are only a couple of dishes to wash and it takes me about 10-15 minutes to prepare and scarf (less time than I would spend driving to McDonald’s.) I am not rushed. The toaster does all the work. I can relax and read RSS feeds while I scarf. It’s a great way to start the morning.
Now I know what you’re thinking. You’re thinking I’ve only managed to accomplish this week without McDonald’s because I’ve been on winter break. That once I go back to work, I will once again be scarfing biscuits and slurping soda in the TJ Maxx parking lot. Possibly, but I do not doubt the power of toast. Not only is toast delicious and part of a filling breakfast, toast is inspirational. Just this evening, I was going to prepare some beefy noodle slop in my Instant Pot. But I’ve been trying to do a digital detox and the other night I deleted 28 gigs of apps off my phone, including my recipe app. My recipes were not backed up in the cloud and I could not find it online. I started to make the recipe from memory, but soon realized I didn’t have several key ingredients. In the past, in my pre-toast days, I would have gone to the grocery store to get the ingredients. But I also would have told myself that by the time I get to the store and back, it will be too late to cook dinner so I probably should just stop and get something to eat tonight on the way. (I live in the suburbs, so on my way to the grocery store, I pass a Burger King, a Subway, a McDonald’s, a Sonic, a Chick-fil-A, a Panera, a Dairy Queen, and, if I go the back way coming home, a Panda Express.) That’s how I would go from having a nutritious dinner of homemade slop to having a dinner of fried rice with double orange chicken.
But that didn’t happen tonight. With the power of toast winding its way through my colon, I stood strong. I got some adobo seasoning powder from my spice rack, a can of not-yet-expired refried beans from the garage, and the giant bag of shredded Mexican cheese that all suburban households must keep in their fridge and I made tacos. Not great tacos, but filling and satisfying tacos. I did not submit to the siren song of fast food. At the age of 45, I am a stronger man than I have ever been, and it’s all because of toast.