#14
You know how we see war on the news—videos, headlines, updates from halfway across the world—and we think, Wow, that looks terrible? But unless you’ve lived it, unless your ppl are actually there, you have no idea. What you see is just the surface. The media only captures one angle, and behind that, there’s a whole world of fear, and uncertainty that doesn’t get shown.
Sure, we understand on some level that war impacts families. We might even imagine what it’s like to have loved ones in the middle of it. But unless it’s your family, it’s not real in the same way. Watching videos doesn’t show how terrifying it is to not know where the next bomb will land. That kind of unpredictability becomes a constant weight.
Being abroad while your family is stuck in the middle of it adds another layer of helplessness. I used to think that at least some family being in a safe country was a good thing. But now, I realize for those family members—people like me—it feels worse. We’d rather be there in danger with them than be safe and far away, powerless.
For me, my two biggest priorities in life have always been my family and my career. And right now, my love for my family has completely paralyzed my ability to function in the second. I can’t focus, I can’t work, I can’t move forward.
So yeah. That’s where I’m at. This is what it feels like when the world falls apart from a distance—and up close all at once.