#50
Tonight I was reading something that pulled me into a chain of thoughts. Feeling free. In the sense that when you look at very genius people, the truly innovative ones, you see how they struggled with relationships, how they had trouble regulating them, and how that struggle became part of their journey.
One of them is a musician who talks about this experience of validation that comes with having someone. It’s that moment when you have news, when you’re excited, and you go to that person in your life to share it. And they either light up with you or they don’t. But whatever they do, it matters. They act like an anchor.
If that person doesn’t exist, you’re left wondering. Are your emotions real? Should you be as happy as you feel? Is there anyone who can grant you the approval, the signal that, yes, this is worth celebrating or no, maybe it isn’t? And suddenly you’re relying on their judgment to validate your feelings. Which makes you question: is this the right anchor for you?
Because when you’re tied to an anchor, you can’t float. You can’t drift to places you’ve never been. You’re bound to that validation. And you don’t know! maybe it’s not the best anchor you could have. What if you cut loose? What if there’s no external validation at all? What if you learn that validation comes from inside you? Then you can float freely. No anchor.
I honestly feel every person should float freely at some point in their life. And only after they’ve drifted, explored, reached a point where they feel like, “Oh my god, I’ve discovered everything, this is the edge of the ocean for me” then they can choose their anchor. But we rarely think about this. We rarely even realize that we need to float for a while.
And I see it so often: people come out of one relationship and jump right into another. And I believe this goes for both men and women. Because honestly, I don’t know many ppl who are fully comfortable being alone either. So the question remains: are you tied to the right anchor? Or are you clinging to the wrong stream?
Sometimes, if it’s not the right anchor, all you’re doing is collecting sea junk around it, circling endlessly, calling that stability. Maybe you’ll float away together. But how far can you really go if it’s not the anchor meant for you?
That’s why I find that author’s perspective so interesting.