#68
Sometimes I think about feelings we cherish and how we want them to last forever. But a repetitive feeling does not necessarily mean a permanent one, nor does it guarantee true appreciation. When it comes to love, happiness, or deep gratitude, people often believe there must be constant exposure for gratitude to remain alive. I do not think that is true.
Sometimes one single exposure to a feeling is enough to create permanent gratitude. That is how I am. I do not chase permanence in that sense.
Imagine you are in a jungle and a very beautiful animal, like a deer, approaches you. It sits calmly with you and shares presence. You touch her gently, pet her, scratch her nose, gaze into her eyes, and then she runs away. You might wish to see the deer every day. You might return to that place feeling nostalgic, yet deeply grateful for what happened. You may wonder if it will ever happen again. But the beauty of that encounter was never meant to be guaranteed.
Of course, it could be lovely if you had more time. The deer could stay, move closer, let you snuggle and pet her whenever you wanted. But the nature of that animal is freedom. Different animals have different natures, just like humans, just like everything else.
For me, life is made of discoveries and moments. There are certain moments that are almost magical. You feel that rush, that euphoria, and the gratitude for it stays with you. Even when the moment is gone, the gratitude remains. You do not need to relive it endlessly for it to matter.
I think there is something important in letting go of obsession with control. You can always revisit a moment in your mind. You can carry it with you, without needing to possess it again.