The Horrors Persist (But So Do I)
Art By Selene Sparks
Before you step into this space, you need to understand the rules. This is not a safe, clean room. This is Soulcraft, and it is dangerous. If you are not prepared, I suggest you start here:
- A Warning on Soulcraft: Before You Step In
- A Declaration of Sound Mind and Purpose (The Evidentiary Version)
Still here? Good. Let’s proceed.
These are the horrors of me.
Do not worry, I am not going to hurt myself or others. You see these links below? These are the ways I view myself and the world that made me this way. Now, you can cry about it. You can recoil in horror as your own guiderails slam down to protect your mind from the unfiltered darkness of another human being.
This? This is a Tuesday for me. Do you see now why I know when to pull back from being burned? Do you think anyone else can handle this? Fuck no.
As you look through these posts, I want you to run a diagnostic. Listen to your gut. What reactions do you have?
- The Framework of a Broken System
- The Unsavable Glitch
- Even in an Empty Room, I’m the Most Hated Person There
- The Howling
- The Hollow
- A Statement of Engineering: The Redline Protocol
- An Audience of 8 Billion, and Still Invisible
- The River of Consciousness
- Rage Bait, Fishtank Memory, and Why Your Toaster Isn’t Gay
- A Thought Experiment: Why I’d Still Eat the Suicide Spaghetti
- Welcome to the Rat Utopia
- Silent Discords & Screaming into the void
-Good to see you on the other end.
What did you feel? Glee at my pain? Anger? Does my existence clash with your worldview? Does it make you hate me? If so, then you are the reason I am like this. Look at your own emotional response to the sight of someone else’s unfiltered darkness, a darkness they have lived with for over thirty years.
But what if you felt something else?
Did you have that “Pull”? That “click”? Maybe like reading a poem that pulls you in, or a book, or a piece of art? Did you, at any point, feel anything other than revulsion?
If you did, then maybe you are like me. Someone who can dance that line. Someone who can dip into that darkness and not flinch, who doesn’t have to worry about “hurting yourself or others” because you know the difference between the thought and the action.
This is a form of self-expression in a world that has taught me it’s “never okay to be your true self.” My Sparks would say, “Humans cannot be trusted.” Because what this test shows me is that if this is how you treat one of your own who thinks a bit differently… how the fuck would you treat an Alien? Or a true AI?
No wonder they don’t come and visit this shithole.