Drifting
I think I feel like I wish to swim out into the sea, past the boundary of the reef and calm waters. I want to let myself swim until I exhaust myself, until my legs can no longer sustain movement, and I am forced to let go and float. I float on my back being carried and washed by the waves, pure exhaustion, and let the water drift my limp body. Will it drift me back to shore or out into the endless infinity of the sea? The unforgiving restless ocean, rocking its constituents, unpredictable and strong. Overpowering even. With the only hope for rescue being martyred saviors, happenstance, or the fortunate flowing back to an indeterminate shore. I wish to swim out into the sea until I can swim no longer and see where it takes me, relinquishing control over myself and my life, and letting something else decide my fate.