Ketamine, et al.
Psychedelic treatments like Ketamine and Psilocybin have been making some major waves in the last year. So much so, that investors (including Elon Musk) have had a little field day with the stock market. Don’t believe me, check out ticker: PSY on the NYSE stock exchange. If you’re in it to win it, chances are that you’ve made some money on this concept.
Dare I say it – rightfully so.
Look, in Q3 (2020), total pharmaceutical sales in the United States was estimated around $514 billion dollars (US currency, if you’re reading from another country). I don’t know about you – I, however, cannot fathom this amount of money. Remember WTHF (from a previous post) – this fits the bill. As a country, we spend an unfathomable amount of money on medications that have side effect lists larger than the state of Nebraska (drive from east to west sometime – you’ll catch my drift). Not to say that these medications don’t save lives – they do. Are some of them necessary for survival – YES. Please, don’t misinterpret me. I may be a stoner – but, I’m not that “crunchy”. Modern science has drastically improved the quality of our lives. I (tend) to side with science.
On the flip side, Americans do not love moderation. We’re still of the mentality that bigger is better. Look at our food portions, gas consumption, McMansions (no one needs a 10,000 square foot home – OK) and consumerism (Black Friday just happened two days ago, people). Last time I stoner-ordered a slice of cheesecake from a restaurant, I realized it contained enough calories to surpass my daily intake. While I do not subscribe to fad diets – I do pay attention to numbers. Frankly, who the FUCK needs to eat a 1,200 calorie slice of cheesecake. Nobody. Even for a young person with a fast metabolism – this is unhealthy – AF.
I promise I’m getting to a bigger point, here.
Suffice to say, if we cannot control ourselves when it comes to simple things (like food portions), how do we propose the idea of pharmaceutical moderation. A-ha. Now, you see my point. We don’t. Check out Michael Keaton’s role in Dopesick: https://www.bing.com/videos/search?q=dopesick+trailer&view=detail&mid=C721266B4D9127DE8B2EC721266B4D9127DE8B2E&FORM=VIRE
Why, then, do I mention Ketamine and Psilocybin? Because, science is on to something. Do I have firsthand experience – YES.
LONGSTORYSHORT: in my early 20’s I was in a bad relationship (OK – “bad” is sort of an understatement). I wound up with some legit PTSD and anxiety. If you knew me, circa pre-E-J (my ex) – you would know that – prior to him – I never had anxiety. Or, PTSD. My adolescence was normal (by comparison to most – no family is perfect).
In the abusive aftermath ((sigh)) I was left some residual disturbances in my life. Insomnia, perhaps, being the biggest issue – which only served to exacerbate the anxiety. This became a negative feedback loop (which is how these things tend to present). Especially post-partum. My daughter was nearly a year old when I finally sought professional help. This is where I was introduced to Lexapro. Initially, it was the best-drug-ever. It stopped my stress eating (which helped me shed baby weight), and made me feel – well – more human. The obtrusive thoughts floated away. Like most people who are prescribed a medication for an anxiety disorder, I spent far longer on it than I should have. Eventually, it didn’t work quite as well. It went the other way. Scientifically, we know this happens. Our brain is an amazing, organic machine – it adjusts, adapts, and overcomes. Medications eventually quit working, or start working against us. And, we inevitably need to change medications, or take more, or, or, or….(please watch Dopesick – it explains this concept far better than I ever could).
Therefore, I began to research. Then, I researched some more. Because, I am a science nerd and I have conversations with my fellow nerds (both non-clinical and clinical professionals). I vaguely recall hearing about Ketamine – back then, it was a party drug. Something people did at raves. I went to raves, drank far too much alcohol, and wore anything that glowed – OH, only if I could slap my younger self. However, I wasn’t into psychedelics – again, no judgment if you did (I have friends who’ve taken enough ‘ludes to kill a horse). Frankly, I was just too damn scared of these things. I ate ‘shrooms a handful of times – giggle-snort kind of fun, but the recovery seemed to take at least two days. Minimum.
Anyhoo…
Back to Ketamine. I did not buy this from some drug dealer (seriously, do people still have someone they call…). I had a legitimate (read: lengthy) consultation with a licensed physician. My overarching goal: to find a (potentially) long-term solution to the root cause of my anxiety (versus slapping a proverbial bandage on it). Been there, done that.
To date, I have had one dose administered. Clinically, you can do this one of two ways: IV infusion or troche (a small lozenge made through a compounding pharmacy). Regardless of choice: if you chose to do this, and if you have children – consider doing it on your off weekend (if you’re a single parent), and/or when you have some outside help. The journey is interesting – knock, knock, Nemo (this saying took on a whole new meaning).
I was instructed to wear a sleep mask (so not kinky – relax), and listen to music that wasn’t obtrusive (no gansta rap or sad country tunes). I chose binaural beats (one sound in right ear, another in left – different frequencies). Binaural beats are said to foster better moods, increase relaxation, and lower stress. With that said – it seemed like the proper choice.
Here’s where it gets interesting: roughly 30-ish minutes after my dose, I felt like I was floating. Then, I felt detached from my body (part of the process for some, apparently). As I had a sleep mask on, I cannot speak to visual disturbances. I did have some interesting, shut-eye visuals (mostly tunnels, waves, non-linear objects, etc.). Upon “waking” I found myself to be a little disoriented (normal), and nauseated (again, normal). As I did this in the evening, I went to bed shortly after. According to my ‘Sleep Cycle’ app, I reached 100 percent sleep quality. Literally, this never happens. Aside from the occasional evening where I am beyond exhausted, and happen to crash (versus ramp myself up, and stay awake until 2:00 AM).
Will I do this a second time – YES. Why – because, I am not chasing a dragon. Remember the lengthy evaluation – I don’t have addiction issues. I was candid about my cannabis use – the physician actually supported responsible cannabis use. His advice: not to combine the two, especially 2-3 hours pre and post Ketamine drop (for some, the two things don’t mix well). That trippy, dreamy trip – part of a process. Not something I’d want to do for shits and giggles. Frankly, I’d probably fall flat on my face and vomit on someone if I tried to go out while on Ketamine. All things aside, what I did feel was a deep sense of relaxation. One that extended well into the next day. No foggy, no groggy. I also felt parts of my brain begin to “fire”. Unlike a brain zap when you discontinue a psych med – this was pleasant. A gentle awakening/nudge of brain cells that have been dormant for some time. Fact: as we age, we lose neuroplasticity. Additionally, trauma and/or mental illness serve to exacerbate this. Literally, we become stuck – psychologically speaking.
Is this a pharmaceutical intervention? I suppose so. With that said, please re-read my explanation behind pharmaceutical use. I subscribe to moderation – even in cannabis use. It’s about responsibility and accountability. Before you even consider psychedelics, please reach out to an expert (read: psychiatric provider with well-documented, clinical protocols). Done improperly, this is not going to benefit you – in the long run. Be honest with yourself – if you’re looking to re-create an experience from the 90’s and 00’s, find another means. By the way, the healthcare providers working in this industry are well-versed in addictive personalities. They’re also highly protective of these protocols, as they had to fight – hard – to get the green light. Chances are, they’ll filter out anyone with less than noble intentions.
Be truthful and accountable to/for yourself. First things, first.
Much love, ya’ll.
~SM