As relative as time
The year draws to its close – as evident in switched-on heating and the dreadful sense of midnight-level darkness in the late afternoon – and I have gotten better at accepting compliments.
George stopped deflecting them. The compliments were real, honest and came from a genuinely nice motion.
Given all that, why was my gain still relatively small?
They are small compliments. If you want more gain, work more and collect more!
Hmm. How did this “we accept compliments” achievement turn into attention-driven capitalism?
You. Better. Work.
Yeah, not falling for the diversion. Let's remember “addictive craving for compliments and validation” for another post. My original question was: why was my gain still relatively small?
They are small compliments.
No, they're not. Not all of them, at least. Some are pretty big.
Well they are MEANT to be big compliments but RELATIVELY speaking they're not.
Come again?
#1 They are no experts.
As unskilled bystanders, it's nice to compliment you. And they probably mean it from the bottom of their ignorant heart.
That's still a compliment then, George! They are proud of my achievements and voice that. Making people happy: Accomplished.
Sounds pretty static to me, though. Even without any improvement you might please the ignorant. Worse: Even a setback could still be enough.
And what about the compliments I receive from people better than me? Your argument falls flat there!
#2 They don't truly mean that you're super good.
They mean that you are relatively good for your level. And maybe they simply want to congratulate you for trying. A motivation cookie.
The trapdoor opened, swallowed me whole and closed: Non-experts and experts alike were either ignorant or nice, but not honest. George has stopped deflecting the compliments but started challenging their validity or worth. All that remains are scraps.
And you know what? So be it! They're scraps, they're genuine, and they're mine!
If you want more gain, work more and collect more.
But maybe I can get something better. I started asking the people to explain their compliments, to describe what the like, to ask the experts for guidance.
In the end, what else is improvement but little scraps and little steps, on at a time?
Last post: “Why should they”