Better sick than a nuisance ?
A couple of weeks ago I suddenly felt sick. Not yet “sick” sick but on my way to sickness: pain in my throat when swallowing (which directly inhibits the ability to sleep, trust me). Understandably, I wasn't in the best of moods.
I rang up the doctor and got an appointment within a few days. That was fine for me – after all, I wasn't in fatal trouble and the pain was “only” annoying.
Over the next days, it got – thankfully – better day by day. And on the day of my appointment, it was almost gone. So, what to do?
You might only feel better, yet the sickness could be hidden. Could you live knowing you had a chance to get checked on time?
My inner hypochondriac never fails to read the stars in the most disfavourable fashion. And so I went.
Side note: I live in a country with general health insurance. That makes it simple. If you happen to live in a country without, I'm sorry. And I honestly wish you all the best changing that!
Thursday morning, short before lunch break, my appointment. Flu season, hence the waiting room was rather full. I waited while patient after patient was called to be seen by the doctor.
And I waited.
And I waited.
Until lunch break – and especially the lunch break of the practice – had already begun.
Until I was the last remaining person in the waiting room.
Me and my dear inner voice.
Only you and me, right? You're already feeling better, so why are you here, wasting everybody's time?
You told me to go, didn't you?
Yes, in case you're fatally ill without knowing. But what if you're not? They will laugh at you. Instead of, you know, having lunch now.
I was trapped. Trapped between the fear of not going and the fear of having gone without need and reason.
Too fit for the doctor's, too sick for home.
I felt like a nuisance.
And rightfully so.
Unless of course... unless you're sick.
Unless I'm sick?
Well, if you're sick, your instinct was right on spot. Commendable!
Life lesson: when you reach the point where “bad news” start to feel like the soothing option... You better shut that little voice.
Come again?
No, you shut it and listen to me now. I have made the appointment for a real reason. And now I am here for a... well, an honest reason. I'm afraid. And it's possible there is still something. And I'm not a professional, so I am asking a professional. That's what adults do!
And now that I'm here, I want to walk out the door with the knowledge that I'm fine.
Even when looking stupid?
Even then. “Being fine” beats “Told you so”. Any day.
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