Blockage in the hourglass
“Time flies.” Except when it doesn't.
Time is a subjective, relative, elusive... we know all the clichés and we experienced them ourselves. But one thing we can count on (in good and bad) is that time keeps moving. Which is why I'm always unsettled when I can't perceive it.
Greetings from the airport. Airport waiting areas always have this effect on me: They feel void of time. Everything is designed to stay constant, temperature, lighting, noise level, the smell of restless anxiety in the air.
It is just you. Everyone else is bored and staring into their phones to not talk to one another.
But don't you worry (evil wink), you've got me. We can spend the rest of this stagnant time debating all your life choices.
Oh Merry Christmas me.
But let's be honest: Despite boredom, despite possible distraction, despite the FACT THAT TIME PROGRESSES:
You're wasting your time.
That one nagging thought, louder than the others. But why now? I regularly commute, I can read a book on a bus or train. Here, in this void, I can't find the capacity to focus.
No matter what you do, you achieve nothing.
But when I'm on a bus, the bus progresses, not me. Or do I?
Does it feel less like waiting if I get somewhere and not just “somewhen”?
Fascinating if the sheer perception of “something's changing” upgrades the time I... “spend”.
I might have found the reason I'm so bad at meditating!
But where to go from here? Training in meditation as preparation for the next flight? Looking at my watch for 30min straight to see the handle move?
I have no answer yet but writing these lines helped me spending the time, at least for a little bit.
Subjective, relative, elusive. Time moves. I can take comfort in the fact.
Next post: “As if heaven is on the other side of a queue”
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