Nobody ever returned to tell
In my last post, the topic of “broken CVs” lead me to the phenomenon of “survival bias”. If we want to talk about storytelling and its impact on how we perceive the world, we can't underestimate survival bias.
Survival bias is what I like to call the “hero's story of the mundane”, the epic journey of people “like you and me”.
But mainly, mostly, always... people like the other “you”.
Survival bias is a two-sided coin. The “me” side and the “you” side.
Let's start with the “you” side.
"You can achieve anything if you only believe enough in yourself".
Unless you believe you could fly. This will get you locked up.
The “you” side of survival bias is looking at the successes of others and feeling bad for not following in their paths.
Look, they made a gamble, believed in themselves, challenged the gods and returned victorious!
We love hero stories. More than stories about “people who tried and failed”. There's nothing wrong with that but it shifts the perspective: Even if thousand have failed, we tell the story of the one who succeeded. And we might feel encouraged, despite the odds.
You’re not seriously promoting the opposite, are you? Great idea! Let’s tell all kids their bedtime stories of the ‘thousand who failed’… it’s going to encourage them for sure to even try ;)
You’re thinking in just black and white again, George. I hoped for you to be over that by now. Depressing discouragement is as crushing as fatalistic encouragement, although maybe faster.
Then what? The famous ‘balance’? Bit of both to cancel the effects? “You can! But probably not!” ?
That would then be the “me” side of survival bias. I will fail because I’m not special enough. Or crueler: because I didn’t try hard enough.
Others succeeded. We’ve got the evidence. Go book their masterclasses now!!!
We might miss the point. Encouragement and discouragement can’t balance out each other in a healthy fashion. And you’re right, why should we counter encouragement at all?
Because you will fail. You will fail, your nose will bleed, your knee will hurt, and then you loose your job, your flat and future career.
The slippery slope of failure.
You make it sound so awful but what’s your proof?
Thousand failed.
And didn’t die – despite what “survival bias” suggests. Maybe they just learnt. Maybe they tried again.
Fools! If they try again, they didn’t learn!
Not your lesson, that is. And not the best to graduate, I’d say.
Nobody needs to “embrace” failure. But how about we greet it like the old and wise neighbour? The one who waters our plants when we are away, the one who lectures us every time how to “properly park a car” but who would never go as far as scratching it with their keys.
You are escaping into romantic semantics again…
Perhaps. But this time it feels justified, being the better lesson:
“Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.“
Next post: “Consolation plasters”
Last post: “If it ain’t broke, have you ever fixed it”