Silence on the cliffside
Since the start of this project I had my fair share of debates with George. Some more heated than others. Often, we start on a similar perception and differ in deduction, comparable to old adventure books:
Optimistic? Continue reading on page 5.
Pessimistic? Continue reading on page 18.
Paralysing tantrum? Close the book and return tomorrow.
No matter how heated, adversarial, or agreeing (that also happens): Having the conversation is comforting by itself. You want to break any running circles but you’re not alone alone. Talking to yourself is talking (and according to modern studies not considered unhealthy anymore).
Great, quick blog entry this time. Warm peachy words about me enjoying the process.
No? Why not? Did I miss anything?
…
George?
…
George isn’t here today. No self-talk. No running circles. End of the rope.
What happened?
“Too much” happened. Hit me. Showed itself.
I was reading the news, fully respecting the irony of calling it “the news” if it felt more like “the same old shit”. Maybe the fan is new, spreading it faster and further than ever before.
The same old stale shit. So much same old stale shit. You close your eyes, you look away, it doesn’t help. The same old puddle. Even the fan resigned over this one.
And George had nothing to say, stayed silent. A paralysing silence void of time. While running in circles you can count time: Count the laps when passing known shit. Not this time.
I openly admit, I’d give almost anything for a quiet “Nothing you can do” whispered by George. An easy way out. Move along – the circle is that way, you won’t miss it, society awaits you there.
Perception but no deduction. No debate. No next page, no further reading. A cliff-hanger on a frozen TV screen. And this hauntingly screaming silence.
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