i dont lile myself when i'm with you. more like, i dont like who i am when im with you. nd i dont even know if i like you. i value you sure, i have affection for you, as a person i like you. but. i dont know what it means and what it says about me or you, about us.
and i dont blame you, i know its all on me.
i felt content when i hurt you, felt almost joy. but i cant move on from that. and the despair in your eyes. i enjoyed it even if i dont wanna see it ever again.
now you know how it feels. but you dont know you made me feel this way. its okay. im okay being the bad one.
do you know how full of judgement you are? its like i learn unknown facts about me, your reality of me is so unlike mine. but if you think all those things of me, do you even like me? and how? and why? i dont like the person u see. and that makes me like you even less.
still, i care for you.
and that's about it.
wtf
pathetic to use people to define who you are, and to fall in love with urself through the eyes of someone else. what kind of narcissism...
i thought that it was what straight people did. but here i am, narcisse himself.
nd if my reflection shows me something i dont like, its the mirror's fault not mine.